Potter's Clay

Decision Making Questionnaire

2011-09-22T10:20:00.000-05:00

I read this "Decision Making Questionnaire" the other day that isn't really written for "food addiction," but when I saw it I thought of how relative it is for anyone with an addictive personality, including food addiction. I've not actually written out answers to this questionnaire (yet), but over the past couple days I've found myself mentally going through the questions before making food choices and/or going to particular restaurants. It's been INCREDIBLY helpful because lately it has seemed near impossible for me to not stop at a drive-thru when driving anywhere. CRAP food has become my 'main squeeze' and it's most definity made it impossible to SQUEEZE into any of my jeans. :( I've gone so far backwards on my journey that it's sickening and I'm thankful that I'm conscious and choosing to look at the reality now to get back on track, but it's hard!

I encourage you, check out the questionnaire below and see if you could apply it to your own life (with ANY addiction), I highlighted the question that challenged me MOST in light of my food addiction, WOW!....

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When deciding if you should engage in a particular activity, below are some questions to answer. Be brutally honest as you answer them. Use another sheet of paper to write down your answers. This questionnaire is especially helpful as you develop your boundaries and your definition of sobriety. You may want to provide this checklist to your sponsor so she can ask you these questions as needed.

1. Look at that behavior in light of all your other addictive/destructive behaviors. Is this particular activity similar to those behaviors? How is it similar? How is it different?

2. List all the reasons you think this particular activity is a healthy choice.

3. Will doing this particular activity propel you forward in your sobriety or take you backwards?

4. Will doing this particular activity propel you forward in your relationship with God or take you backwards?

5. If you did this particular activity every day for the next month what would be the result?

a. On your sobriety?
b. On your relationship with God?
c. On your relationship with others?
d. On how you feel about yourself?
e. On your weight loss journey (health, weight, physical ability)? (I added this question)

6. Are you creating a list in your mind of all the reasons it is okay for you to engage in this particular activity? Why do you think you are doing that?

7. Are you feeling any anxiety/guilt/shame as you think about doing this particular activity? Why do you think that is?

8. Would those who know you and your struggles consider this particular activity a healthy or unhealthy choice? Why do you think that is?

9. Are you willing to pray sincerely about this particular activity in order to listen to what God is saying and to obey what you hear?

10. Are you willing to present the situation honestly to your sponsor [or someone who knows your struggle] in order to gain their feedback?

11. Once you have made your decision, elaborate on why you choose to do or not do this particular activity.

I hope someone finds this questionnaire useful as I have, it's challenged me.

A letter to myself, from myself...

2011-09-08T14:27:00.001-05:00

It's better to "fail"

2011-08-01T11:59:00.002-05:00

Let's start with a math 'outlook' equation:

Finishing Dead Last > Not Finishing > Not Starting at All

Warrior Dash KC - July 30, 2011

Sometimes it's REALLY easy to lose perspective and not see the reality in tough workouts, races and challenges.

This weekend, several friends and I completed an AWESOME obstacle course 5k, better known as Warrior Dash! A 5k can be tough enough, now add about 10 obstacles in the middle of it and there you have what we just tackled. I'm talking CRAZY steep hills, tires, hay, balancing wood beams, climbing, cargo nets, river running, fire, mud, mud and more mud!

I was with a diverse group of people from all different levels of athletic ability. For several, this was their first race EVER (crazy choice huh!). Others were runners, several were walkers and some don't really work out at all. We all had ONE common goal though, to finish!

Well, all of us finished except for one who had to be escorted off due to an injury. Personally, I call that a "Badge of Honor." I've had a couple conversations with her since and she seems to be a bit discouraged and frustrated with herself for not being able to finish. That breaks my heart FOR her, because her disappointment is stealing the joy that can be found in the fact that she even started the race!

Ya know, I found myself slightly frustrated in the fact that I may have technically "finished," but I was foolish for attempting it with a heel injury, almost no training and therefore I walked 3/4 of the course, skipped 1 1/2 obstacles and took about 1 hour and 45 minutes to complete this beast! That's not an official time that you exactly find yourself "proud" of or excited to share. I'm thankful for AWESOME friends who trudged through this 'muddy mayhem' with me though, because they continuously reminded me of how awesome it was that I was even out there doing it and that I at least did 1/2 of the obstacle that I backed out of (the other obstacle I would've more than likely got injured further if I attempted it).

Point being...instead of my friend dwelling on "not finishing," or me bumming over "not finishing well," we need a new perspective. I could say I failed since I skipped some of the obstacles, but sometimes strength is knowing your limits too. Both of us are WARRIORS for even starting, that says we believed in ourselves! The fact that I wasn't willing to give up and was determined to finish is MIND over MATTER (and believe me, after slipping & falling about 5 times on the course and being in SEVERE PAIN, I wanted to take a seat on the side of the road and pass out in the piping hot sun). Not everything in life is about how well you finish, but the fact that you even started!

All of this reminded me of something my girl Jillian Michael's says, "If you aren't failing, you aren't trying hard enough." In this misunderstood world of exercise, FAILING at something that you made the effort to TRY can be success!!! Stop the comparisions. Forget the haters. Who cares about the skeptics who say if you can't do "this" in "this," that you're not good enough...as long as YOU pushed to your personal best, then you've won! Not everyone can "win" the race, but life is much more than coming in first place.

If you've ever started a race and seemingly "failed," whether that be because you were injured and had to quit, you were escorted off because of time or you finished with what you consider to be a "bad time," in my opinion YOU are strong because you went out and did it!

MAKE.IT.HAPPEN!

Warrior Dash KC

2011-07-30T20:16:00.000-05:00

DONE!

OFF TOPIC: Masculinity at the foot of the cross

2011-07-20T12:09:00.000-05:00

"Following Jesus doesn't always feel natural to me...but isn't that the point?"

I read one of the BEST most REAL blog posts on Rachel Held Evans blog about what the Church has deemed as "masculinity" and how it's a contrary image than what we've seen in the Bible. Although I haven't read through all of her blog and don't know enough about her to know if I stand for all she represents and writes about, I really did love this post!

Masculinity and identity as a man is VERY much needed in our society today as well as in the Church, however, what is masculinity really? Is it big muscles, ability to hold your own in a fight and not crying? Absolutely NOT! So why is it so hard for men to acknowledge being in love with a MAN - JESUS! Why is it so hard for men to display their emotions through tears and most soft-hearted, compassionate, emotionally sensitive and fair tempered men are considered "sissy's" or oftentimes much worse terms?

I say give me the soft-hearted, emotionally inclined, compassionate, gentle man in LOVE with Jesus over the buff hunk who shows no sign of pain or weakness any day! Just my thoughts!

Blogpost from Rachel Held Evans:

“For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing,
but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” – I Corinthians 1:18

The disciples never liked the idea of the cross.

Peter, a former zealot, especially hated the suggestion that Jesus would suffer at the hands of the Roman Empire and the Jewish religious leaders Peter so detested.

When Jesus predicted his impending suffering, Peter rebuked him, saying “God forbid it, Lord! This shall never happen to you.” Jesus responded by telling his disciples, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

Still convinced that Jesus would lead some kind of political uprising, the disciples argued amongst themselves about who would reign beside him when he became king. Time and again Jesus reminded the disciples that his kingdom belonged not to the powerful or the violent, but to the gentle, the peacemakers, and the least of these.

But Peter fought against this idea until the bitter end.

When Jesus was arrested in Gethsemane, Peter took a sword and began fighting Jesus’ enemies, even cutting a guy’s ear off. But Jesus stopped Peter, and in a truly subversive act, healed his assailant instead. It was at this moment that Matthew reveals “all the disciples left Him and fled,” leaving Jesus to face his execution alone.

They were frightened and embarrassed.

Jesus showed no sign of fighting back, no sign of returning violence for violence, no sign of “acting like a man.”

Peter famously denied even knowing him.

In fact, Scripture reveals that it was the women who rallied around Jesus during his crucifixion, and consequently it would be women who would first witness his resurrection. Because of their faithfulness, they were the first bearers of the good news.

As the Apostle Paul would later write, “the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing.” The cross is counter-intuitive for all people, but it can be especially hard to carry for men whose instincts and culture reinforce the old way of “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” Traits like gentleness, peacemaking, self-control, and non-violence are considered by our culture to be feminine qualities, not masculine ones, and so it should come as no surprise that the life and message of Jesus can be a turn off to men who consider such a lifestyle foolish.

As we have seen this week, there is even a push among some Christian groups to make the Church more attractive to men by celebrating violence and purging from the church any qualities or people that might be deemed “effeminate.”

But as Jesus tried to explain to his disciples, the cross is not about indulging oneself, but about denying oneself. Rather than conforming Christ to our notions of masculinity, we must conform our notions of masculinity to Christ.

And after the resurrection, the disciples did just that.

According to tradition, Peter would be crucified upside down.

Stephen was stoned.

Paul was imprisoned.

And Phillip not only welcomed the effeminate Ethiopian eunuch into the Church but also baptized him and sent him out to share the gospel with other people.

As Dan has often said to me, “Following Jesus doesn’t always feel natural to me…but isn’t that the point?”

We all have our thorns in the flesh that make us embarrassed by the cross. We all have times when we want so badly to introduce other people to Jesus that we try to downplay the radical nature of his teachings. I am as guilty of this as anyone else, and the fact that I hate to lose an argument makes me identify with Peter more than I care to admit.

But Jesus never promised that following him would be easy. He only promised that it would be worth it.

We are not charged with changing the gospel; we are changed with changing ourselves.
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So what’s your thorn in the flesh? What instincts and desires do you struggle to let go of in order to take of your cross and follow Jesus?

"Why I Do This..."

2011-06-05T00:13:00.001-05:00

This blog could have easily taken on a different title, the other being "My Temple."

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body," (1 Cor. 6:19-20).

On Memorial Day, I'm thankful that I was able to go with my Church to Joplin, MO to help in the tornado relief efforts. It was a very humbling experience that gave confirmation and a bit of perspective once again as to "Why I Do This?"

I don't do this to be a size 2.

I don't do this to gain interest from guys.

I don't do this to look better than other girls.

I don't do this for attention or recognition.

I DO THIS to honor God with EVERY area of my life and that includes honoring Him with this temple.

We can't be careless about how we care for our physical body and yes, our body IS the temple of the Holy Spirit, BUT, I don't believe for a second that we care for our bodies so that God has some "fit body" to dwell in, a size 2 to call home. No, for me, it's ministry. God dwells in cancer-ridden "shells" that are quickly fading the same as He does the marathon runner with less than 5% bodyfat. I don't believe that His main concern is so much in how "equipped" or "perfect" a body is, but rather in how we use it. For me, it's about the ability to GO for him and do things that I was otherwise inhibited to do.

On our car ride home, after a long day of HARD, demanding work, we all talked about our experience and got to know each other on a deeper level in our fellowship and conversations. I'm still fairly new at my Church and haven't established those intimate relationships that I had prior at my Church of 9+ years. When I got to sharing a bit on my reflections from Joplin, I couldn't help but get emotional upon realizing that "THIS" is why I'm determined to fight this fight of faith PHYSICALLY as well as spiritually. "THIS" is why I'm working to transform this temple into one that is fit and active. "THIS" is why I believe God wants to be Lord over every area of our lives, including our physical bodies. In that moment it hit me, two years ago, this was an area of "ministry" that I wouldn't have been able to perform as I did while I was in Joplin. That is an area of ministry I was physically limited in although it was completely in my control to strip away those limitations. I wouldn't have been able to lift my weight to climb in and out of a semi-truck countless times. I wouldn't have been able to walk the length of that 18-wheeler for 7+ hours like we did, carrying heavy loads back and forth without easily tiring and needing several breaks. This is all one missional opportunity that I would've likely missed or sat on the side-lines, very limited in how I was able to help and serve.

I held back tears as I shared my passion for this lifestyle God has called me to and remembered that it's not all about "me." To say I've been struggling lately is an understatement. I've had my eyes focused on "me" lately and that self-centeredness has led to nothing but discontent and seemingly unevitable failure. I lost sight of the TOP reason of "Why I Do This," but Memorial Day was a beautiful picture as to "Why!"

I'm in the truck, lifting 24 packs of bottled waters

I do this to actively serve and glorify JESUS, my King!

QUOTED TEXT FROM GOSPEL RAPPER, LECRAE...

"...1 teach, 2 teach, 3 teach, 4 teach, 5 teach, 6 teach, 7 teach more, this is what we've been commissioned, it's the reason why I write, so that you could hear the truth, not so you can say I’m tight whoa..."

"This is a lifestyle...I don’t do this for the money, I don’t do this for fame, I don’t do this so the industry can know my name, I do this and host to glorify Yeshua the King, if you’re feelin’ me you know you should be doin’ the same let’s go…"

I'm not doing this just for "ME"

HOPE for JOPLIN

2011-06-03T11:00:00.001-05:00

Acts 20:35

In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'"

Thanks to everyone who has helped in some way either with my recent trip to Joplin with my Church and/or assisting through other organizations and ministries.

I’m thankful that we were able to go and offer HOPE to hurting people who I’m confident God can and will heal over time. I’m thankful that not just my Church, but the entire Kansas City community pulled together to help our efforts. This trip wouldn’t have been possible without the community. Two news stations covered the effort which increased awareness. A local rental van company donated a cargo truck to us and mentioned to our pastor as they picked it up that numerous Churches in the area have called with requests and they just can’t do it and my Pastor mentioned, “You do know that we are a Church right?” But for whatever reason, they donated the truck to be sent, that is so amazing! Over $4500 was donated in cash contributions in addition to a LARGE moving truck and one cargo van full of baby products, water, hygiene products, flashlights, food, dog food, toys, etc. I know this trip was a HUGE blessing to those who will benefit as well as all who were able to give and help if even in a small way.
I’m so thankful that I was able to go along on this trip to Joplin on Memorial Day along with over 30 others. Ths trip made and impact and left an impression on our hearts and I know that it helped the people affected by the devastation in Joplin. The best way I can sum up our trip is “successful.” We went to serve and serve is what we did.

When we got there, you have to register and they send you where they see fit. We first unloaded our two truckloads at Ignite Church which is overseeing a lot of the relief efforts along with Convoy of Hope. The Church has completely destroyed their parking lot and removed everything that made them your typical “local Church,” in order to actively work and serve the community and I loved seeing that. What used to be a Sunday school room is now filled floor to ceiling with diapers. The entire back of the Church has become a storage area full of toilet paper, paper towels and dog food. What was a sanctuary is now a food pantry and they’ve driven huge metal stakes in the parking lot (literally ruining it, it’ll have to be redone when this concludes), in order to set up tents where they’re serving free meals, providing needed items to families and medical assistance. That really, really said a lot to me.

After unloading the items we brought, (and me getting a tetanus shot that I later found out I didn’t really need – I only add this because if you know me well, you know that I am TERRIFIED of needles…but I did it J), we were sent offsite in a neighboring city where we unloaded, sorted and reloaded 3 semis jam packed with stuff…I never realized how large a semi was until walking the length of one, inside the truck, repetitively, for hours with loads of items in my arms.

By the end of the day, we were all tired and exhausted but everyone responded in almost the same way, “I’m tired, but in a good way.” The dread is taken out of work when you know you are SERVING with a purpose, it becomes hard work that is well worth it. Our 1 day trip is nothing compared to what will be required over the next months to even years to rebuild and help those in Joplin, Mo. We worked non-stop for nearly 7 hours sorting donated items and organizing things and that’s 7 of who knows how many more.

It was easy to just consider it a normal work/serve day and forget what we were really there doing and whom we were actually helping until we drove through the devastation site before leaving. The best I can describe it is unreal! After spending all day in an area completely unaffected, it was easy to think that things just aren’t as bad as they were portrayed on the news until we drove through to witness the most unreal thing I’ve ever seen. In the car I was in, we all said almost simultaneously, “OH MY GOODNESS!” Then there was just a hush! It just seems unreal to grasp and really wrap your mind around.

Can you imagine, we live in the Midwest, tornado alley, where we are used to hearing tornado sirens regularly throughout this season. I was telling a friend that we’ve grown so used to it that it almost feels like the boy crying wolf. We hear sirens and don’t pay it much attention and honestly, as a Kansan, most of our initial responses are to either 1. Go outside to look, or 2. Get in the car to find the severe weather. We don’t take these things nearly as seriously as they are. So imagine them doing like most of us are used to doing, going to their basements half-heartedly and not really expecting much to come from it. In a matter of minutes, lives are lost, livelihoods are forever changed and nothing is the same. These people crawled up from their basements, through rubble, to find nothing left but destruction and likely images that will forever be embedded in their minds. Horrific sights. I cannot imagine.

Keep the people of Joplin and those who’ve lost loved ones in Joplin in your hearts. If you are able, I encourage you to help however you see fit. Easily, this could’ve been or could be us.

Loading a truck with donated items at Church

Unloading items in an assembly line at Ignite Church in Joplin

Our group from Lifepointe Church that went to Joplin, MO for tornado recovery work - Memorial Day 2011

Just one image of the devastation caused by the deadly Ef-5 tornado that struck Joplin, Mo on May 22, 2011

Back to the Basics

2011-05-18T23:04:00.009-05:00

I stepped on the scale today and saw a number staring at me that I NEVER wanted to see again, not even if I were pregnant....

Weigh-in on May 18, 2011

As you can imagine, that was hard truth! The lowest weight recorded for me on this journey is 179...climbing back to 215.4 is depressing! Humiliating! Degrading! Demotivating! DISCOURAGING! (and just about anything else that starts with a negative connotation and ends in "..ing")!

I was talking to my dear friend Val on chat about my weight gain and how hard it is to see that number again, I love what she said to me:

Valerie: so don't get back on the scale today! start at this very moment doing all the things you know you need to do to never see that number again. you know what to do. do it.

"So don't get back on the scale today!" There isn't anything EXTRA-ordinary about that statement, however, it really hit home with how "matter-of-fact" and immediate she said it. Without giving it a second thought she basically said, "Well, stop wallowing over it and DO SOMETHING!" Blunt. Honest. Truth! I'm so thankful for Val, she's a straight shooter and doesn't tickle my ears and pat my back, she ruffles feathers and says what needs to be said when it needs to be said! She most definitely is loving, compassionate and understanding as well, but not at the cost of catering to my pity party.

There is no excuse or reason for my weight gain, the simple truth is I started back into old habits of instant gratification which is lack of self-control! I fell back into the habit of never denying myself anything, "If I want something, I'm going to get it NOW!"

I used to go through this deep, drawn out thought process behind every set-back and weight gain, "Why did I gain weight?" "What's going on emotionally?" "What triggered this set-back?" I was always looking to pinpoint the "cause" that led to the "effect." Although I realize the importance of discovering what's behind our weight (emotionally, spiritually, physically, pshycologically), I'm also seeing the deception in how exaggerated it's become. Every time I gain, someone else on this journey gains or I'm trying to pep talk someone through their gain, it's like we look for this "one thing" to blame. Not that it justifies it, but it somehow puts a sense of "purpose" in the gain when we find something or someone to "blame" for this set-back. I'm gaining because of...XYZ! It's bogus!

We can either let our circumstances control us or we can control our circumstances. Some things really are out of our control: job loss, family trouble, economy, illness. But that's where the Serenity Prayer says it beautifully:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Want to know the difference? I cannot change the fact that a family member is dealing with medical issues or that some people who were once close to us are only in our lives for a season. You cannot change the fact that a loved one just passed away or your husband lost his job. But you can take COURAGE and continue making wise choices for healthy change in your own life rather than slumping into a pit of despair. You CAN change your eating habits, you CAN change your fitness level.

Val and I continued our conversation after the scale comment and we discussed some things that I believe are pretty relevant and noteworthy:

Valerie: i think at some point in our journeys we all got a little bored and wanted to make it more exciting and bigger than it was, so we started doing things like...ahem training for marathons and trying to do cheetah flips (whatever that is) in order to gain more "respect" and in order to be more inspirational to others...aka to get more of an ego boost. maybe i am over generalizing, but i think that's exactly where i started falling apart. i just knocked myself down and started back on the bottom rung where requirements are lower (i.e. you don't have to run 20 miles to be working hard) and started counting calories.

me: "go back and do what you did in the beginning"

Valerie: point is, sometimes greatness is achieved in the most meager of actions. we lost sight of that--at least i did. i quit celebrating the small victories.

me: i agree i totally agree

Valerie: i quit celebrating my new body and my new life and i got lost in the grandeur of it all and lost my way

One conversation I've had a lot lately surrounds the concept of "go back and do what you did in the beginning." In the book of Revelation (Ch. 2), there is a letter written to the Church of Ephesus where they are acknowledged for all these wonderful things they are now doing, "vs 2 I know your deeds, your hard work and your perserverance." but then they are rebuked because in doing all that, they lost sight of their "first love." They are admonished with the statement, "vs 4-5 Yet I hold this against you: You have foresaken the love you had at first. Repent and do the things you did at first."

I feel the same rebuke on my journey. REPENT! Or more appropriately, "STOP and CHANGE! Do what you did at first." The name of this blog is "Potter's Clay." I set down this road with a goal of glorifying God with my physical health as well as allowing him to mold me inside and out. In addition, I set out to start taking care of myself and loving "me" because how can I love others if I can't even love and care for myself? Third, I simply did what I knew to lose weight and was successful as well as loved doing it. Nothing extravagent. I was mindful of my eating habits and ate in moderation. I began living an active life and exercising, nothing extreme. I ENJOYED every day of the journey, good and bad. I loved learning more of who I am, how God sees me and saw others in a new loving and compassionate way as well. Of course, I never liked to see a gain on the scale, but I didn't let that stop me from living and learning and I just kept going. There weren't any of these binge periods followed by extreme food monitoring and insane workouts to offset the damage done. I've learned that when I go to the extreme it's great for awhile, but it's inevitably followed with EXTREME backtracking.

There isn't anything wrong with goals, I've loved goal setting along the way, but I lost sight of taking joy in the small things. My celebrations used to be over fitting in restaurant booths or keeping up with friends at the mall without losing my breath. I love going out with girlfriends now and actually "feeling" like a lady in cute clothes rather than men's XXL T-Shirts. My eyes would well with tears over the simpliest things and the small victories were enough to continually encourage me to keep moving. Now I've lost sight of the little everyday things my friends used to take for granted and I've found myself guilty of the same. Instead of remembering that I couldn't shop at a normal store before or fit on rides at the amusement park, I find myself constantly needing to run this race or 'compete' against that persons journey. It reminds me of a blog I wrote a few months back called "Robotic Weight Loss." It's this never ending road of pushing to the extreme, but forgetting the basics.

I’m learning, this isn’t a walk in the park anymore, making a LIFESTYLE out of this is tough. When you battle weight issues (whether addictions, disorders, self-esteem, medical conditions), it’s exactly that – a battle. I don’t know that the battle ever just “ends” one day when you’ve reached your pre-determined goal. Every day you have to make a conscious decision to continue supporting that healthy life and some days you’ll win and other days you’ll not play your “A” game, but a set-back does NOT have to be a failure!

One thing I'm starting to grasp though is the fact that I cannot forget where I've come from and when in doubt, GO BACK TO THE BASICS!

RACE DAY: "Bib Number"

2011-04-20T12:54:00.005-05:00

Bib Number for my FIRST 10k!!!

"The biggest reward for a thing well done is to have done it." -Francois Voltaire

I'm beginning to acquire a bit of an addiction for these roadraces. There is something about the atmosphere of an OFFICIAL, CHIP-TIMED, MARKED OUT race course that gets the adrenaline pumping and drives runners to play their A-game! There is something about waking up at an ungodly time in the morning to fuel with water, bread and peanut butter (which I don't like) as well as stretching for the BIG EVENT that makes that early start worthwhile. I can't describe the feeling of putting on compression pants that at one time you thought you'd never be caught DEAD in, followed by lacing up a good pair of running shoes (I'm not talking about a cheap pair from Payless Shoesource either! No, you pay a pretty penny for this high class form of transportation that is powered by none other than YOU). It's normally a bit chilly, but that doesn't seem to effect you much as nerves are running high which I'm sure increases the blood flow. Everyone is stretching, some are running BEFORE the run (not me) in order to warm up, others are removing layers to strip down to what resembles a babies shorts (that's about how long they are) and little tanks.

I encourage you, if you haven't yet, sign-up for a ROADRACE.

If you are like me, you go to "packet pickup" a day or two prior to the race as you don't need anything else to distract you from your mental preparation on race day. I mean, what if the line is too long and you can't make it to the start line? What if their fingers begin to scan the page, looking intently for your name, but it's no where to be found because there was some glitch in the system and your registration didn't transfer properly? That is the LAST thing you want to happen at the very LAST minute.

In this packet that you've picked up there are typically solicitations for various other upcoming races in the area, you know, these people are pushers and all knowing that most race runners quickly become addicted to this "roadrace high." There are two things that matter most in this packet though:

1. Your timing chip (to be laced to your shoe to track your official start/finish time)

2. YOUR BIB NUMBER

The second one is what I'm going to talk a bit about. Ah, the BIB NUMBER. Call me crazy, but one of the most exciting parts about the entire experience for me is this "BIB NUMBER" (apart from actually FINISHING the race). Why? I love securely fastening my BIB NUMBER to the front of my shirt on race day because of it's symbolism. This "number" is what sets me apart from those who are just in the crowd cheering, and those who RUN. This "number" silently SHOUTS that I'm no longer a spectator; I'm not on the sidelines watching everyone else live their lives while I stand going no where. This "number" labels me as someone who is IN the race, running, BELIEVING in myself and my ability.

Attaching this number floods my mind with so many thoughts and emotions. It reminds me not only of my physical run, but my fight of faith with scriptures like: "I can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens me." and "Greater is HE that is in me than he that is in the world," the one who tried to steal my life through obesity and how the GOD who lives in me is strengthening me to FIGHT against that work in my life. I remember when I struggled to walk to my car in the parking lot at work and how I used to hate if I had to park further than the first 3 rows at the grocery store because of how far it was from the entrance. I am now a participant IN an official race and I'm perservering. I might not be the fastest runner out there, and by no means do I think I'll be winning an award any day soon, but what means the most to me is:

I START. I RUN. I FINISH.

Now they are giving a 10-minute warning, alerting you that it's time to begin making your way to the starting line to wait for the gun to sound.

ANXIETY HITS.

THEN NERVOUSNESS.

NOW THE FEELING THAT YOU HAVE TO GO THE BATHROOM REALLY, REALLY, REEEALLLY STINKIN' BAD.

You learn a lot through running. You have to be disciplined, self-controlled, you have to listen to your body and fuel properly. So much of that directly correllates with this awesome journey of FAITH. As believers, we are called to be self-controlled and alert in our actions, disciplined in our lives, listen to the guidance of the Holy Spirit living in us and we are nourished through reading the word of God, time in prayer and worship. You endure through hardship and pain, things that we all face in life. You keep fighting the good fight of faith through trials and temptations. I'm reminded of this especially during the points of a race where you are so tired that you just want to quit. You are tempted to just stop in the middle of the road and bend over with your hands on your knees to surrender to this uncomfortable and at times painful exhaustion. But through it all, you just keep running!

I still can say without hesitation that I am NOT a fan of running, nope, I'm not one of those girls who claims to love it. But ya know, what I do love is what I learn about life on these runs. Some hard truths, some mental battles, but ALL of them become worth it when I've RUN my race and FINISHED the course marked out for me!

You might think I'm crazy, but I bet some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. For me, it all starts with the "BIB NUMBER."

1 Corinthians 9:24-27

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize."

Hebrews 12:1-3

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us RUN with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

You were a flower...GREAT GRANDMA!

2011-04-13T16:08:00.000-05:00

On Friday, March 25th my Great Grandma passed away peacefully and with family in a hospice home. I'm thankful and Praise God that she knew and had a relationship with Jesus and the peace and comfort that came from having that confidence. I'm thankful to have had a Great Grandma in my life and to have enjoyed that relationship for the 25 years of my life. Great Grandma was 89 and she was ready. One thing that fills my heart with JOY and I will always remember is how the last day she was fully coherent, my Gma said she spent about an hour just talking to God, praying and singing old songs as though He was right there in the room with her. She would tell Him how she was ready and ask Him to help her with the pain and she just didn't want to leave behind her babies, she wanted to know that her children and grandchildren would be taken care of and be alright. I don't really even shed tears over the fact that Great Grandma is gone, because I know she is well now - sin and death are defeated! But I well up with emotion thinking that in the final days of her life, her one remaining concern and anxious thought would be that of a mother for her family. WOW! She had 11 children and I can't even count how many Grandchildren and Great Grandchildren and even some Great Great's that she had, but it just blesses my heart to know that in that state of life, her thought wasn't on fading away, it was that we would be okay. :') The experience of being there with her the final 2 weeks of her life, back and forth from visiting hospice, God used it to teach me so much about life. I understood more of how these bodies we live in really are just temporary homes, we move on though. I understand more of how in this fallen world, we are forced to give so much of our attention to things that never satisfy yet are necessary for life on this earth (like food, water, shelter, clothing, etc), but at the end of life you start thinking in the eternal and those things mean less and less to you and being in the presence of the Lord means more and more. I understood more about death being defeated because in this flesh we daily are at war, but that war is no more when we finish this race of life. In the word it says our life is like a vapor and literally, my Great Grandma lived 89 years, but at the end of life, I'm sure 89 years seems like a blink. She was born, she lived, then she died...all like that. We all do. There are so many things in this world that jock for our attention and some of which we just have to tend to while living "this life," but there is a life to come - PRAISE GOD! The funeral services were beautiful for Great Grandma and I was thankful for the boldness in witness my cousin, Great Uncle and Great Grandma's pastor had in preaching the truth to our family at the funeral. It was GOOD! I think about a flower and how a flower's pollen blows and takes root and produces other beautiful flowers like itself and I started thinking about my Great Grandma like a flower. She loved Jesus. Going to the funeral I could look around and see these precious and sporatic flowers scattered within my family that are growing and blooming to love and serve the Lord. AMAZING! It blessed my heart so much and I was filled with even more hope at the thought that it's not it, there are more flowers in the works, just waiting to bloom and turn their faces to Jesus!

John 12:24

Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain.

Pivotal Choices

2011-02-16T13:37:00.002-06:00

Small choices makes BIG impacts!

Have you ever noticed that sometimes it's the "small" choices that we make which don't seem that drastic at the time that end up having a tremendous impact down the road? These are pivotal moments that set us in motion down a path which holds the potential to change our entire lives!

I think every single one of us encounters several "pivotal moments" where we have to make a choice that literally molds a part of who we are (whether for the good or bad).

This past weekend I had an epiphany that really had me digging deep. It's funny how something simple can usher you into a thought process that blows your mind. So let me set the stage that led to this "epiphany" if you will. I was cleaning out some old papers in my car on Sunday morning when I came across a referral note from my doctor dated 12/16/08. It had a business card attached to it for a local weight loss surgeon. The referal note read, "Pt has BMI 58 will be unable to reach healthy BMI in next year."

Finding this note in my car was like striking gold! I remember when this note was written. This note was written after one of the FEW times I ever reached out and openly sought counsel on the condition of my weight and I really felt like change was impossible. This note was written at a point in my life where I didn't believe in my own ability to lose weight so for good reason, my doctor didn't either. This note was written after years of office visits where my weight steadily increased with each check-up, but all my vitals returned "normal" so I'd convince myself that I was "OK" and would just continue on with life as I knew it: Overweight, UNhealthy, insecure and UNhappy.

The more I looked at that note, the more my heart was filled with joy as I was reminded of "who" I was and where I am today. As you can imagine, it was hard to wipe the smile off of my face on Sunday morning. Furthermore, I began to ponder the date: mid-December 2008. In mid-December 2008 there was nothing in me that believed in myself. Now fast-forward (but not too far). The end of January 2009 is when I stumbled across my first episode of The Biggest Loser and got inspired! February 2, 2009, I gave God my inability and started seeking Him for His ability to help me gain my life back. In 1 1/2 months I went from a mental state of hopelessness and disbelief to FULL of hope that I could change! This was still only a hope for change though, not a full assurance and KNOWING that it would happen...Now, back to present tense and onto my epiphany. Later in the day of re-disovering that doctor's note, I also found myself in the drive-thru of Taco John's for a poorly planned fast-food dinner (not thinking much about the note anymore). As I pulled through the drive-thru, there was a severly obese man working the window. IMMEDIATELY, I was taken back to that note and really felt a deep sense of compassion for that man. A flood of emotions rushed over me as I realized that "he" is who I was. The only difference between me and him is one small, uneasy and personally pivotal choice that set me in motion down a path with the potential to change my entire life...AND IT HAS!

My weight had robbed me for countless years of JOY, peace, confidence, boldness and even my identity in Christ. That day I made a seemingly small choice that was VERY pivotal. That day I chose a path that would take some work, but I also believed it'd lead to a better life. I really didn't have much insight or vision of what the future would be like that day, it was really a moment of living in the "here and now" because everything else was still so unimaginable. I had no clue where it'd take me, what it'd be like and honestly didn't even have the full-confidence that I'd really succeed, but I still took those exciting first steps.

There are so many people out there who don't even realize that it's just one, small, pivotal choice that will change the rest of their lives. Ones who, like me, can't even imagine what their life will look like down the road, but are willing to take those exciting first steps to discovery. WOW...

1st photo was in January 2009, less than a month before making a PIVOTAL CHOICE that is changing my life!

ICING ON THE CAKE: When I found that doctor's note on Sunday, it was right after reaching yet another "milestone" on my journey. Not even 30 minutes prior, I had just finished a 6.5 mile training run (non-stop) in preparation for my first offical 10K race! I'M DAILY AMAZED!

ALL OF THIS CAME FROM ONE PIVOTAL CHOICE!

Check out my FIRST blog entry on this journey here: http://rebornwright.blogspot.com/2009/04/12-week-competition.html

Check out my 411 page for my weight loss story: http://rebornwright.blogspot.com/p/411.html

Robert Frost (1874–1963). Mountain Interval. 1920.

The Road Not Taken

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Robotic Weight Loss

2011-02-06T16:20:00.000-06:00

Galatians 6:4-5 (NLT)

"Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct."

~ ********** ~

It's been awhile since I've written a real "post," but after reading some verses the other day, I had to share. :)

I called this post "Robotic Weight Loss" because it seems that in the community of weight loss there is a lot of comparisons made and hurt feelings when we aren't able to do the same thing someone else did:

"Well, she lost 8 pounds in one week, why couldn't I?"
"How is it that she lost 100 pounds in 8 months and it's taken me over a year now?"
"Those people on the TV show burned 6000 calories in one day, what am I doing wrong?"
"When you ran that 5k you did so well, I dont know if I can ever be a runner."

It's almost like we expect to be these little programmed robots that perform the same tasks with the same precision and speed. If we don't, there is surely a short-circuit and we're broke - right?

It's not wrong to set goals or be inspired by the accomplishments of others, but I see a lot of negative tension that develops when people are motivated by trying to meet or beat someone ELSE'S personal record. If we do meet/beat their record, we miss a very special part of personal accomplishment for the simple fact that at the core of our excitement - it's about what someone else did! Are you following me? Yes, you were able to do it too - but the unit of measurement was "Billy Jo Bob." On the flip, when we are unable to meet or exceed that goal, oftentimes we feel as though we have failed. "Why is it that they were able to do this and I was not?" Discouragement sets in and people begin to dishonor themselves and discredit their OWN accomplishments. There is a good reason they call them "PR's" in the athletic world - it's because they are supposed to be PERSONAL records.

If you've read much of anything on my blog, you've probably noticed that I try to glean from scripture and revelation from God as it applies to my life as a whole - including weight loss. For awhile I'd somewhat lost perspective, it's easy to look at the world around you and quickly paint a picture based of what "seems" most desirable and commonly accepted. "I'd love to be her size, lose x amount of weight quicker than she did, abs like hers, run faster than that chick, get a HUNK of a man at my right side by looking like her..." and the list goes on. All of these with the common denominator of "How I compare to the next person." Can "I" do more than they can? What do "I" look like next to those girls? Am "I" more successful???

We've all probably heard someone say, "You shouldn't compare yourself to others," but have we really taken that statement to heart and thought about WHY comparing ourselves isn't beneficial and oftentimes tears us down more than builds us up? One of two things often happens by comparing ourselves to others:

1. We are discouraged because we don't "add up" to the life or accomplishment of the person we are comparing ourselves to.

2. We boast that we are somehow "greater" than the next guy and exalt ourselves higher than we should.

When we compare ourselves to others, we subconsciously try to duplicate or improve what others have already done or have. As long as I'm looking around to everyone else, I will NEVER be satisfied with my own work and will rob myself of certain elements of joy that come from being original. Our reflection becomes dependent on someone else. What would be the point of looking in a mirror and seeing my neighbors reflection? I wouldn't even know what "I" look like.

Think about an original piece of art, whether it be a painting, song or creative writing. There is something special about sharing this original piece of artwork. That is a reflection of the talent God has placed in you and it's not in light of anyone else's prior work or achievements. AWESOME! Now think about someone who paints a duplicate or remixes a classic song. They may very much so still have creative talents and abilities within themselves, however, there name will always come after the original artist is recognized. This wasn't inspired in and of themselves, it isn't the "work of their hands," it's a copy of someone elses.

Now back to the verse this is all inspired from:

Galatians 6:4-5 (NLT)

"Pay careful attention to your own work, for THEN you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct."

Instead of always looking over at our neighbors results, we need to focus on what "I" am doing? Am "I" working hard? Am "I" being the best "me" that I can be? Like I said, this is more than just weight loss. I'm talking in our jobs, in our relationships, in our finances in everything that God has given us to be a good steward over, are we paying careful attention to our own work and finding satisfication when it's well done?

If we don't get past this damaging mindset, there will always be "someone" else out there to compare ourselves to and we'll always be striving, yet never finding, that place of satisfaction. If we just look at our own work, satisfaction truly DOES come from knowing what YOU have accomplished and what YOU worked hard to do. You can take pride (not sinfully) in what you've worked hard at doing and see the end result of it paying off. AMAZING!

Biggest Weight Loss Challenge OVER! :)

2011-01-21T17:03:00.000-06:00

1 mile, 5k, stair climb...WHAT'S NEXT?

2011-01-18T12:11:00.002-06:00

10 K

Why they feel the need to measure these popular races in a unit of measurement that isn't often used within the States is beyond me - 6.2 miles sounds hard enough, but 10k sounds TERRIFYING! Needless to say, I set a goal to work towards that will encourage me to stay active and moving - I'm OFFICIALLY registered for the 2nd annual Rock the Parkway 10k event to be held April 2nd. SCARY!

I haven't even begun to train and weather outside is so yucky, but I'm determined to do this! I cannot wait to push my limits once again and proudly finish my FIRST offical 10k race. I highlighted the best feature of this race, lol, check it out:

Get ready to rock!

After an incredible inaugural event last year with more than 4,000 participants, the 2011 Rock the Parkway will once again take place along Kansas City's famed Ward Parkway, one of the most beautiful tree-lined routes in the country — and all six lanes are reserved just for you. This regal parkway features historic statues and sculptures, beautiful mansions, classic gardens, and gorgeous fountains — a long, downhill finish just might propel you to a personal best time.

Participants in all three races — the half marathon, 10K and 5K — will receive a great event shirt and the opportunity to enjoy live music and delicious food and drinks at the event plaza after the race at the Burns & McDonnell world headquarters, 9400 Ward Parkway.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sounds fun, huh? I'M PUMPED! If you've never done a road race - they are addicting. I highly encourage you to sign up for one of these events in your local area, rally some friends and family with you - go for it. Most of these races raise funds for local charities or organizations so you are not only challenging your physical limits, but you are being generous and giving to others in the process. Not to mention, you get to collect race day T-Shirts like trophies. :) I know that half the joy is picking up MY shirt and MY bib number and attaching it the day of the race. Wearing that race number sets me apart. It is a marked distinction saying, "I'm IN this race." It means that I'm no longer sitting on the sidelines watching everyone else push their limits and reach their goals - I've set out to accomplish something too. I'm running, I'm winning! I normally finish quite a bit slower than most participants, but I WON because I did it. I didn't allow myself to be held back by fear or limitations. I DID IT!

I wonder: Am I running MY race that God has mapped out for me with perserverence while overcoming obstacles that try to hinder me. Is there a marked distinction about me that says I'm IN this race, testifying of the goodness of God and not simply on the sidelines observing? Do I fight the good fight of faith with JOY?

There really is something about these races that not only challenges me physically, but mentally and SPIRITUALLY as well. PRAISE GOD!

To find events near you, visit websites such as active.com.

Verse of Encouragement:

Acts 20:24 (NKJV)

But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

2010 Workouts/Events Collage

2011-01-04T11:10:00.001-06:00

An ACTIVE 2010

HIGHLIGHTS

Round II of Workplace "Biggest Loser" Challenge
Celebrate 142.2 lbs lost on 1 year anniversary
"Walk to Work" Blogrimage
Start of Walking Club
Workplace Daily challenges
Mass Street Mile - 1st Roadrace
Run for SIDS 5k - 1st 5k Roadrace
Sylvester Powell's Biggest Weight Loss Challenge
Won 2nd place in Kansas City Fitness Magazine's "Kansas City Weight Loss Challenge: Round 3."
Said "Goodbye" to 200's
Liberty Memorial Friends of KCFM "Bootcamps" Began
Trip to Georgia - Completed 7 miles
ALA Fight for Air Climb
Thanksgiving Day 5k
Santa Run 5k

It was a year of a lot of UPS and downs and struggles with weight due to stress and some heartache, but overall, it was memorable and full of a lot of great challenges, new friends and FUN!

I can READ!

2010-12-27T17:23:00.008-06:00

Yep, that's right! I.CAN.READ.

Let's backtrack though...

I have been a bit M.I.A. here on my blogspot lately as it's hard to blog about "weight loss" and healthy living when you're, well, not losing weight or living healthy! I know, I know, "The road isn't always easy and we learn so much through the struggles and successes and a 'setback' isn't failure." I've preached it with the best of them, but I was set in such a whirlwind that finding that wholeness my blog encourages (body, mind & spirit) - it's been TOUGH!

A few months ago I began attending a new Church and I was quite apprehensive at first. My apprehensions are partially self-induced by my own poor decisions in life as of recent and some of the apprehensions come from undeniable wounds that were caused by others, but needless to say - they are there. SO, stability in a Church home seemed lacking, stability in my living situation was turned upside down and stability in my physical home, this body, FLEW out the window with the rest of it. It's safe for you to make the obvious assumption that spiritual stability in my walk with Christ has absolutely been tested and tried as well. WOW, can I say it's been a year and I'm shouting BRING IT ON 2011, I don't hesitate in bidding farewell to 2010.

Now, onto the "I.CAN.READ" portion of this post...

My lack of blogging isn't an indication that I've given up completely on healthy living or rejected what I've spent so much time sharing and encouraging others about. Instead of so much writing though, I've been READING. For me, this is HUGE. My entire life I've despised reading of all kinds but have absolutely LOVED writing. For someone who writes as much as I do, you'd think that reading would go hand-in-hand, but nope, I've always felt like I have ADHD when it comes to required reading. My mind wanders off in a thousand different directions OTHER than processing the words on the page.

Not so much the case anymore. I'm so thankful that some friends have given and/or encouraged some very meaningful books and resources into my hands that are helping me tremendously through some emotional, mental, physical and social issues. I'm thankful for HIGHLIGHTERS too. :)

First off, the Pastor of the new Church I've been attending has been presenting the word in a way that without even consciously thinking about it, causes me to hunger and crave more of the word and God's truth once I've left the building. I find myself throughout the week, just jumping in and READing more and digging deeper. He's been on a series called "I Love Fruit" coming out of John 15 on abiding in Christ. These messages are absolutely transforming my thought process and although I can't say I've mastered the "art of abiding," my walk with God is changing from one of performance and standards to one of joyful, expectant relationship and communion with Him. I'm incredibly thankful for this new Church body that I keep jokingly saying that I'm "97% sure I will start calling home." Again, I'm still working on laying down apprehensions, but that's another story.

A LOT of my Bible READing lately has come from a translation that I used to have a closed heart towards: The Message. I still love my NKJV, ESV and AMP, but I've been gleaning from the way The Message delivers the word of God. It is challenging me. Encouraging me. Correcting me and instructing me. I find the first thing I do most mornings now is pick-up my cell phone and open my Bible app rather than facebook, text messages or emails. I want the first thing I READ and set my thoughts on in the morning to be the WORD.

The second book I'm READing was given to me as a gift by a dear friend is called A Course in Weight Loss: 21 Spiritual Lessons for Surrendering Your Weight Forever by Marianne Williamson. This book is not a "Christian" book per se as it moreso touches spirituality in general regardless of your religious background, but the Biblical principals that are presented in this book become obvious as a Christian reader. I've found myself highlighting, underlining and writing scripture references in the margins of this book as well as relating it directly to my temptations and struggles with sin as well as weight loss. So far, I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS BOOK. I've found it touching areas of my thoughts and emotions that have brought tears streaming down my face, but a release in my heart that I didn't even know I needed. A couple exerpts from the book:

"Awareness is the first step in healing. Part of the benefit of pain is to get our attention, to help us make the connection between when we suffer and why, so we can make choices that are a lot more fun and healthful."

"...I may be able to pressure you into changing your diet, but sooner or later (usually sooner), some part of you will rebel. (Remember, "Don't eat the apple" didn't work, and that was God talking....)

And willpower is just another way of saying you're forcing yourself to do something, and pressuring yourself to do something is not sustainable. Again, what's sustainable are love, joy, pleasure, and freedom."

"On your own you might have changed your conscious thinking, but you alone cannot change your subconscious. And unless your subconsious mind is enrolled in your weight-loss efforts, it will find a way to reconstitute the excess weight regardless of what you do."

"When we forgive others, it doesn't excuse their actions; it frees us from our own stress and suffering."

The books that find themselves making friends with my hands don't end there though, I happen to be multi-tasking in my READing adventures and I recently picked up a book that I could not ignore any longer called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. Everywhere I turn nowadays, I hear someone speaking about the importance of boundaries in our lives and relationships. One of my best friends has been encouraging me to download some podcasts by Joyce Meyer's on boundaries as well as reading various resources that teach on how to establish those boundaries. A support group I've been attending frequently stresses the importance of setting boundaries in friendships and a coffee date a couple weeks ago was the icing on the cake that made me surrender to this obvious coaxing that I believe to be Gods inspiring. In the midst of a deep conversation, my friend said to me, "I feel like I need to tell you something about Boundaries...." then he proceeded to talk about the importance of setting and knowing my personal boundaries in life. That sealed it, I went onto Amazon.com and bought the boundaries book and received it today. Just in the first couple chapters of READing, I already see the necessity to learn these lessons and apply them to my life. An exerpt from the inside cover of the Boundaries book:

"Are you in control of your life? Do people take advantage of you? Do you have trouble saying no? Christians often focus so much on being loving and giving that they forget their own limits and limitations....Boundaries are personal property lines that define who you are and who you are not, and influence all areas of your life.

Believe it or not, the books I "coincidentally" happen to be READing all at the same time have been a recipe for releasing some deeply rooted issues in my life. Going from not reading much at all to READing these particular books in conjunction is serving a purpose in my life for this particular season I'm in. I'd think it'd be confusing keeping up with them all, but they are all fitting together beautifully. I'm thankful to have these books fall in my hands and I'm excited to stay in the word to align these new thoughts an ideas with God's truth (and/or dismiss it if it doesn't align) and apply it to my life for effective and lasting CHANGE.

Since we are talking about READING, I'm excited for the book that is next on my list, Get Out of That Pit by Beth Moore. This is a book that has caught my eye but not much of my attention numerous times over the years. I remember purchasing this book for a friend through a incredibly rough time in both of our lives and hearing about how it really helped her through it. I have another friend who was recently given this book and read its pages and has began applying even it's painful truths to her life and is seeing gradual change. I went ahead and took the step of purchasing the book last week, I'm excited to READ through it as I continue to allow God to free me from some deep, dark pits I've dug in my life.

Well, I'm sure I just gave YOU a fair share of READING with this blog, but if you've made it this far, thank you for taking the time to read and I'm going to ask that you PRAY for me. I've been dealing with some struggles that have proved much more difficult that "working out" or "eating right" for me. I've been acknowledging them for what they are am actively dealing with them. Some days are easier to surrender all over to God and others I find myself picking it all back up in an attempt to manage it in my own hands. I appreciate your love, support and prayers!

Thank you!

Verse(s) of the Day:

Ephesians 3:20-21 (The Message)

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

Congrats Crozier!!!

2010-12-15T13:25:00.004-06:00

CONGRATS TO COURTNEY (& Marci) CROZIER

for making Biggest Loser Couples: Season 11!!!

Me, Courtney Crozier and her best friend Courtney Romano in Chicago 2009

At the young age of 22 and originally starting over 400 pounds, Ms. Courtney Crozier is going to rock your living room come January on NBC's "The Biggest Loser." She's proudly lost over 120 pounds at home after being inspired by the hit reality TV show and is now setting out to drop the rest of her weight in front of America...or the portion of America who hasn't been fortunate enough to meet this amazing lady yet!

It's going to be an interesting, exciting and inspiring story to watch as we get a glimpse into the life of a girl who's Dad runs a Dairy Queen that she's employed at full-time and her Mom has ran a health club for 27 years. Both Mother and Daughter will be featured on Season 11 Couples as a team.

I'd crossed paths with Crozier through the wonderful world we know as Facebook and the awesome networking experience it provides for others traveling this road of extreme weight loss and healthier living. I'm thankful for the opportunity to have met Crozier (her Mom, Dad & best friend) once in person on a trip to Chicago when she set-up an interview opportunity for a good friend of mine, also trying for a new weight loss television show (to be aired soon).

The one thing I took note of (and most everyone who has ever interacted with her), is the fact that she's got a heart of gold and seriously strives to help as many people as cross her path. She absolutely believes in living life to the fullest and that doesn't mean at the expense of others, it means encouraging and helping others along the way. Shes one of the most encouraging people you could come across and it's not superficial, she's real! She's fun. She's honest. She's gorgeous. She's smart. She's strong. She knows what she wants AND, she doesn't give up on her dreams!

When I picked up my phone last night and took a glimpse at facebook, I read a few statuses prompting readers to check her out on the finale of Season 10. I ran to my living room and turned on the TV just in time to catch the short clip of her sneak preview for next season! HOW EXCITING! I thought to myself, "She did it!" This girl set out to prove on her own that she could do it and knew in her heart that with or without the show she was out to gain her life back. With that being said, it didn't erase the dream she's had deep in her heart to be on the show and work her butt off (literally) while inspiring America (...and she didn't want to be on just any show, but specifically The Biggest Loser). What I love about that is, unlike so many others who feel like they NEED the show in order to have a chance to live, she found it in herself that should could do it with or without, but she wasn't going to give up on a desire though.

Have you ever had a dream that you refuse to give up on? I was so filled with joy when I saw her face on my TV screen last night because it encouraged me to not give up on my dreams. Who says it's impossible? She refused to give up on a dream and that dream came true. Can I just say, I'm thankful that someone as extrodinary as her would receive her hearts desire because she has absolutely "Paid it Forward" and poured herself out into the lives and hearts of so many other people and now I feel she's having it poured back into her. She's got such a charming and charismatic personality that you will never forget...I haven't!

GOD BLESS AND MUCH LOVE TO YA CROZIER!!!

Watch the Season Premiere on January 4, 2011

Size Matters

2010-12-08T16:05:00.002-06:00

This post will be short & sweet...

SIZE MATTERS

Some of the most rewarding discoveries in losing weight aren't even found on the scale...

...we get so focused on "WEIGHT LOSS" that we forget that FAT LOSS, PHYSICAL PERFORMANCE and INCHES LOST are a much more significant (& appropriate) means of measurement.

Some of my FAVORITE testimonies to hear:

"I had to go to the mall and have them take out a link in my watch!"

"I'm down another hole on my belt."

"My ring doesn't fit anymore, it just slides right off."

"I had a hard time walking before and NOW I can JOG!!!"

PEFORMANCE

"I haven't lost that much weight, but I'm down 3% in BODY FAT!"

What are some of YOUR discoveries found OFF of the scale?

A beautiful day in the midst of December...

2010-12-02T17:04:00.001-06:00

Lord, you bring a beautiful day in the midst of December,
Making a break in this winter to let the sun shine.

Removing memories of the blistery chill,
Replaced with a gentle breeze that I claim as mine.

To step outside to a spring-like day,
In exchange for the bitterness of cold.

Bringing a smile to this battered face,
Removing pains and scars of old.

I’m not quite sure how you do it,
Turning into day this night.

But fortunate for me you do it,
What was hopeless is filled with light.

Outside there’s so much dying,
And trees are left so bare.

Yet you’ve come and changed a day for me,
Somehow, you really care.

Lord, you bring a beautiful day in the midst of December,
Making a break in the winter to let the sun shine.

Removing memories of the blistery chill,
Replaced with a gentle breeze that I claim as mine.

CHECK IN: "Lock in the Weigh in"

2010-11-26T11:42:00.000-06:00

HAPPY (day after) THANKSGIVING!!!

I hope you all had a GREAT Thanksgiving and continue to enjoy your holiday season. I just wanted to send a quick email to touch base with everyone concerning this “Lock in the Weigh in” challenge…

HOW ARE YA?

We’ve got ONE holiday out of the way but that’s just the beginning of this “Holiday Season.” How’d you hold up for Thanksgiving? Are you doing a good job at holding yourself accountable to maintain or LOSE weight as you tackle the potlucks, family gatherings, Church socials and various outings with friends?

I encourage you to CHECK IN with your scale today and see how you’re holding up with your goal this holiday season. I’m here to tell you, I haven’t been doing too hot. Remember, January 1st in closer than you think and for many of us this is just the beginning of the family food feasts to come. Whether you are UP or down on the scale today, don’t slump into a deep depression if the results aren’t where you’d ideally intend them to be. Take note of what you’ve done up until this point and make modifications as necessary.

Regardless of where you stand TODAY on a scale, I hope you are taking time to love yourself and be THANKFUL. Never take for granted your family, your friends and those in your life who you deeply love. Don’t miss opportunities to tell people how much you care and remember that nothing is as personal as QUALITY TIME spent interacting with others where you are PHYSICALLY present and engaging in their lives. It’s so easy today (especially in my generation), to rely on social media and other forms of informal communication to stay in touch with the people in our lives but it seems like the more impersonal connections we have with world the less connected we become. I encourage YOU to schedule a game night with your family, have a girls (guys) night ‘out’ or ‘in,’ meet up with some old friends for dinner and a movie or do something IN PERSON that is socially engaging sometime SOON. I’m not just talking about with the person or people you see every day either, call up someone who you care about but may not have seen for awhile.

JUST THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY – IT’S GOOD FOR YOUR PERSONAL HEALTH (and theirs too)!!!

Women of Faith Conference 2010

2010-11-18T11:00:00.002-06:00

This was my first Women of Faith conference and I was blessed with the opportunity to go when a customer of mine offered me FREE tickets to join. I loved the concerts performed by Mary Mary and Natalie Grant. The first night, Mary Mary had everyone up on their feet dancing, jumping and shouting for joy! I had the opportunity to get a picture with them after Friday night, however, it's not sending from my phone or else I'd add it. The second day I went and sat the majority of the day alone and it was a beautiful time to just really focus on God and soak in what I was hearing without being distracted and feeling obligated to interact with people around me. Natalie Grant performed and left me in tears when she walked off the last stage for her portion of the WOF tour because she's expecting a new baby in a matter of weeks. I was glad that Kansas City made her list of performances because I'm incredibly moved by her music.

I really connected with ALL of the speakers, but I connected most with Kim Cash Tate and Sheila Walsh's message.

Kim is an author and she talked about how she loves writing (and so do I) and how she has the opportunity to become best friends with the characters in her stories. She gets to take them to beauty from ashes. She gets to plan out the plot from beginning to end and has the privilege of redeeming her characters. She talked about how she became so used to writing the life story for her characters that she attempted to write her own life story. She had everything planned out and how it would work and soon realized that if God is the author of her life, she can't have the pen too. That spoke to me because I personally love writing too and the best way I know how to make sense of my life and what runs through my mind is by writing. I'm not guilty of trying to write my own story to "success," however, I have repeatedly attempted to write my own way out of the "pits" I've made in my life.

The second speaker I related to was Sheila Walsh. Sheila had spoke about a time when she was admitted into a mental ward and made the statement that "Sometimes God will take you to a prison just to set you free." That single statement penetrated my heart and I applied it directly to the past year of my life. Lately I've had to come face-to-face with some deeply rooted issues from my past (and present) that I've tried suppressing for years. Although I haven't been in a literal prison, by my free will, God allowed me to walk through nearly 12 months of my own spiritual prison.

Sheila talked about meeting a missionary and a Pastor while she was in the mental facility. The Pastor was burdened by attempting to live two lives, one in public and one in private. The missionary had been molested when she was younger and felt the guilt and shame of that violation and felt she had to make it up to God by doing missions, although she absolutely hated it. Even though it was Sheila sharing "her" story, I related to both the pastor living a double-life and the missionary trying to please God in ways that were ultimately contrary to His perfect will for her.

I'm at a place where I feel like I'm relearning everything that I've ever known "in Christ." What are my convictions and what convictions have I been told I'm supposed to have? With what I listen to, what I watch, what I drink, who I communicate with and how I communicate with them. Where I go and who I go there with. "Fellowship" vs. "friendship" and if there is a difference between the two. When it says "friendship with the world is enmity towards God," does that mean that I should not allow myself to befriend someone who is not a believer and "in the world" because I'm hating God by doing so or does it mean that I shouldn't partner in doing the DEEDS of this world and it's system? I've got so distracted by trying to uphold my own religious standards (or that of those around me) that I was choking out the pure JOY there should be in living my life for Him.

My "mission" had become such a chore (going to Church, trying to read the Bible, trying to pray, avoiding ungodly people, trying to live a good life) and my "works" were moreso to appease my own guilty conscience. The sporatic happiness I had in my life, I masked as joy. There is a vast difference between happiness and true joy. My "happiness" was primarily found in making other people happy (even over God) but I felt guilty behind closed doors because of the deep secrets in my heart, in my life and in my mind.

A few days ago I just felt to look up the verse that says, "It's for freedom that Christ has set you free, stand firm, then, and don't let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." I had actually just parked my car when I decided to look that up and so I did a word search on my smartphone. I've never read too much from the Message translation, but for whatever reason I looked it up in the Message and the whole chapter of Galatians 5 hit home hard!

Galatians 5

" 1 Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.

2-3I am emphatic about this. The moment any one of you submits to circumcision or any other rule-keeping system, at that same moment Christ's hard-won gift of freedom is squandered. I repeat my warning: The person who accepts the ways of circumcision trades all the advantages of the free life in Christ for the obligations of the slave life of the law. 4-6I suspect you would never intend this, but this is what happens. When you attempt to live by your own religious plans and projects, you are cut off from Christ, you fall out of grace. Meanwhile we expectantly wait for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit. For in Christ, neither our most conscientious religion nor disregard of religion amounts to anything. What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love."

I highlighted two portions in red because I never INTENDED to live by my own religious plans and projects, I simply tried to live the way I'd been taught I was supposed to live in Christ. Then it goes further to say that we expectantly "wait" for a satisfying relationship with the Spirit. WOW! Right now I am literally at a place where God is helping me out of one of the deepest pits I've ever dug in my life due to my own choices to sin, but in the midst of it I'm more satisfied in Him than I've ever been since "coming to know Him." I hate that I'd have to fall so terribly in order to have my eyes opened to how my blindness came far before I consciously made the choice to blatently sin. I've spent YEARS expectantly waiting for that place of "satisfaction" in Him and trying to do more because obviously I either wasn't doing enough or my heart was just too screwed up to be changed. I'm learning that it's likely my own "religiousness," my own means of trying to make myself righteous when only HE can make me righteous and my own "rule-keeping" LAW that has kept me from experiencing His fullness of joy.
In my "rule-keeping system," I pulled away from family, rejected GOOD friends because of "low" standards, disassociated from anything and anyone that may have caused me to look like the world because I worked hard to "avoid the appearance of evil." I never even realized that I was hearing that verse out of context, I just accepted it the way it was presented to me. Just before this verse it talks about warning unruly, comforting fainthearted, upholding weak and being patient with ALL. Even in my working to "avoid" this appearance and association though, I was still considered rebellious for the few I did choose to keep in my life (friends who edified me and encouraged me but didn't fit the mold). Now the Bible does talk in other places about disassociating with believers who willfully choose a lifestyle of sin (not wanting to reject it), but I was quick to lump them with the Christian who truly was walking out their salvation with fear and trembling but may have had a slightly different view than me or was currently struggling with sin more than me. Where is the faith expressed by LOVE in that?

I have exhausted so much time and energy trying to abide by the "rules" that I wasn't living a life of freedom at all. I was bound. My Christian walk wasn't received as a blessing, it was the burden that kept me chained down rather than setting me free. Kinda like chaining a pit bull to a pole when he wants to be loose, I felt so overwhelmed by the "rules" of living a life for Him that the times that I broke away from that legalistic chain, I ran full speed to sin.

I've always heard that freedom in Christ isn't a license to sin and so I've quoted it a thousand times, but I never have understood just what "freedom in Christ" really means though. I'm at a place right now where I'm opening my heart to learn who the "FREE woman" whom Christ has redeemed is. I'm learning that "losing my life so that I may find it," and "dying to myself daily," is about being liberated from the old person who has to wrestle daily with a set of "rules." We hear it all the time - but I guess I never believed it.

When I begin pouring my heart out on Him, loving Him and spending time getting to KNOW Him for myself, I don't need rules, I'll LOVE living a life that pleases Him. I wont need a list of "don't do's," because I wont be doing them, my hearts desires will gradually become more and more like His. I'm not there yet - but I'm starting to see a different picture than the one that was always painted in my mind before. Don't get me wrong, I understand that "rules" are important, Jesus said that He didn't come to abolish the law but to fulfill it (Mt 5:17), but the reason he takes the commandments further is because we can disregard the "rules" in our hearts without ever physically participating in the sin. Just because I've got my big religious list telling me not to listen to secular music, go to the movie theatres or watch certain movies, be friends with that person because we all know they sinned or drink that thing doesn't mean that my heart is pure before God.

My list of "can't do's" isn't going to draw anyone to the knowledge of the truth of Jesus Christ and cause their hearts to open to the power of His saving grace! My list is what makes me the person so many searching people in the world do NOT want to be. They are HUNGRY to have a void filled in their hearts, but not if that void is getting what I have - a set of rules. If you are already bound, where is the freedom in that?

FREEDOM in Christ isn't bondage to rules.

FREEDOM in Christ is a heart issue.

FREEDOM in Christ takes away the "I can't do this" and replaces them with the "I don't desire to's."

For months I've gone through a vicious cycle of setting rules only to break them, sometimes just as quickly as I'd set them. I was in a prison of guilt, shame, depression, fear and failure, all in direct result of my sin and not knowing how to just "do what is right." As if my sin weren't great enough, add to that the fact that I was unable to keep my own new "rule." I felt even more inadequate. Hypocrital. Weak-minded. Worthless. Rejected. Lost. Confused. Hurting. I hurt more every time that I tried and failed because I tried and failed in my flesh. I knew all of the things that I was NOT supposed to do, so when I did them I felt like there was something wrong with me. (Romans7)

"Why are all the other Christians able to follow the rules, but I can't break this cycle?"

I saw my faith as a "rule-keeping system" that if I happened to disobey, I'd have to start all over at "Point A" so in turn I've spent a good deal of time dropping out of the race just to go back to the starting line. I've had more fear of being kicked out of God's family and God's Church than I had a Holy fear and reverence for His grace and mercy. I've spent the majority of my Christian walk fighting the thought that something just didn't take for me, something went wrong in my conversion. I never realized that I was bound more to the you have to do "this, this and this" to please Him and don't even think about doing "that, that and definitely not that!" I didn't find that place of "FREEDOM," I felt more bound than before I knew Him. At least then I wasn't falling under condemnation every other day. God's KINDNESS leads us to repentence, but I had a skewed viewpoint that resembled a student writing sentences on a chalkboard repeatitively in order to get the lesson ingrained in his mind. That viewpoint leaned more towards strict discipline than deep compassion. Although I know God most certainly causes us to tremble in fear and shows times of wrath and terror due to our sin, there are also times of Him drawing us out into the desert to "allure" us like He did Gomer in the book of Hosea. He causes the things we've found ourselves depending on to FAIL us in order for us to see that He (our first love) is the only one who will never leave us or forsake us. God really does work in mysterious ways, but I'm thankful that He knows how to call a wayward heart home (and not every heart will respond to the same call).

I'm breaking free from my well-trained religious rule-keeping system and am beginning to LOVE letting go and living for Him. I'm learning how to LOVE others and how to love myself. I learned how to deny myself, but I didn't learn much about loving myself. He's giving me His grace and peace in the midst of it all. It's scary to really have faith for Him to work in me rather than just "say" I believe and have faith. I'm now making the choice to walk in the light and keep myself accountable to God and the godly counsel of others. I feel like I'm becoming a whole new "me" all over again, but He does make ALL things new and I'd made an incredible mess of what I was becoming.

Well, that's the summary of my gleaning from the Women of Faith conference. I'm sure I could go through my notes and share more, but this was what really hit home the most for me. It was a TREMENDOUS blessing to be able to go this year and I hope I'm able to attend again next year.

I'm living and learning how to LOVE life!

HAVE A BLESSED DAY! :')

Fight for Air Climb 2010

2010-11-15T12:58:00.000-06:00

I'M ALIVE!!!

On Saturday I completed the Fight for Air Climb to benefit the American Lung Association. This was a climb of 34 stories to the top of the Town Pavillion in downtown KCMO. The Town Pavillion is makes up part of our cities skyline as it's the 2nd largest sky scraper downtown.

Town Pavillion - 34 story climb

Some co-workers rallied with me for this last-minute event and we formed team Breathe Right. We raised $625 for the ALA which was $125 OVER our team goal. I'm thankful for everyone who was willing and able to donate funds for the fight against lung disease.

Team Breathe Right (minus Kristi) BEFORE the climb!

I was excited that I completed the race in 9:58:8. From start to finish it took me less than 10 minutes, but those 10 minutes felt like they'd NEVER end in that stairwell. To give some perspective, one of our team participants completed the KC Waddell & Reed half-marathon last month and she said that this event hurt worse than her half!

This was my 3rd official race and by far the MOST painful thing I've ever done (all workouts and races included). My Last Chance Workout for the KC Fit Magazine Challenge was mild in comparision to this short "sprint" event. This felt like someone lit a match inside of me and set my lungs on fire.

After Fight for Air Climb

Kristi finished 1st for our team and 9th in her age group, she was FLYING! She had to take a step outside when she was done to get some fresh air into her lungs. Just making it to the top of this event was an accomplishment though considering you felt like you were dying not even half-way through the race.

There were firefighters and swat team participants who ran the stairs in full gear and I most certainly take my hat off to them and what they do to save lives. I won’t forget hearing the echo of deep breathing in the stairwell and then a loud crash of something hitting the cement ground when I was about half-way through the race. I had to make my way up another 3-4 floors before I realized it was the axe of one of the firemen. He was leaning up against the wall with his oxygen tank on struggling for air while still cheering on the rest of us, “Great work ladies, keep it up! You’re doing awesome!” I almost cried!

My friend Brian was there in full-gear with the Overland Park Fire Department and he completed it 9:54:8. I contemplated dropping my 16 oz water bottle due to the inconvenience of carrying "extra weight" and he finished with and extra 50+ pounds in gear. OUCH! I have to say that I'm incredibly proud of him and all of the men and women who came out to represent their departments in full gear. Can you imagine what type of training it requires to run through houses, climb ladders and run up stairwells to save the lives of civilian's stuck in a fire? More than that, to CARRY someone out of a fire when you are already carrying around all of that gear as it is?

THANK YOU FIREFIGHTERS, POLICE OFFICERS and SWAT TEAM MEMBERS FOR ALL THAT YOU DO TO SERVE AND PROTECT US!!!

Brian & I after the Fight for Air Climb

Verse of the Day:

Psalm 119:143

"Trouble and distress have come upon me, but your commands give me delight."

Fight for Air Climb 2010

2010-11-08T16:20:00.000-06:00

Fight for Air Climb

"Breathe Right"

This Saturday (November 13, 2010), I will be completing the Fight for Air Climb in order to raise funds for the American Lung Association. I'm excited and thankful that I was able to rally a team and I'm now the captain for team, "Breathe Right."

As for me personally...

I am doing so because I am able. I can breathe freely, and I climb for those who are not as lucky.

I haven't fought lung disease, but I DO know the importance of our lungs. As some of you may know, I’ve lost nearly 160 pounds over the past 1 1/2 years and I’m still fighting to lose 40 more in order to reach my goal. I used to fight for air just by walking to my car at lunch or climbing the stairs at home. For me, I had a battle to breathe because of my own poor choices but there are some who battle to breathe with no choice.

This event will be a milestone on my journey to remember where I've come from compared to where I am TODAY! When I started my journey, I had a love/hate relationship with a machine called the "Stair Master." I literally had to "Fight for Air" just to make it through 5 minutes. Saturday, I'll "Fight for Air" as I push for 34 STORIES worth of stairs. This is going to be exciting folks!
So far I’ve done an official 1 mile race and a 5k race, but this will add a certain "twist" that your more traditional races don't offer. For me, this will be another celebration that I will never forget on my journey to losing 200 pounds and why not shoot for a personal accomplishment that will help other people?

Every dollar I raise helps the American Lung Association work towards the prevention, control and cure of lung diseases, such as asthma, lung cancer, emphysema, chronic bronchitis, influenza and pneumonia.

If you are interested in sponsoring me OR my team, please click here.

God Bless!

Nov 1st: "LOCK IN the WEIGH-IN"

2010-11-01T16:15:00.002-05:00

November 1st - January 1st

"LOCK IN the WEIGH-IN"

MINE: 185.4 lbs

The concept of "Lock in the Weigh-in" came from Carolyn Jost, a woman who I met through Round 3 of the KC Fitness Magazine Challenge. As a way of keeping herself accountable throughout the holiday season, she hops on the scale on November 1st and has a goal of being that weight OR LESS by January 1st (after facing all the holidays). I thought this was BRILLIANT when she shared it with our group. So although I wish this were an original idea of mine, I have to applaud Carolyn for the inspiration of the "Lock in the Weigh-in" Challenge.

Within the networking world of healthy living and weight-loss, we share tips and tricks we've learned in our own lives that may be beneficial to others. I especially love the suggestions during the tempting "holiday season."

WHY?

Because this is the time of year where all the comfort foods, favorite sweet treats and once-a-year family recipes start hitting the dinner tables to be enjoyed and it's hard to not simply lose control. Grasping and adhering to the concept of moderation becomes TOUGH during the holiday festivities, even for those who have a fair amount of self-control. We have to learn to control our temptations in everyday living (which is much easier said than done), so avoiding social activities all together may not be the best game plan, however, for most some sort of game plan is necessary when it's not realistic to remove yourself from temptation.

I challenge YOU to "Lock in the Weigh-in." TODAY, make a note of your November 1st weight and set out to maintain and/or LOSE weight by January 1st. I don't want you to be fooled by my statement to "maintain," because I hope to have successfully burned fat and lost weight come the beginning of the year rather than waiting for it to be my "resolution." For some however, losing weight isn't necessary, but maintaining your weight through the holiday season is the challenge!

What are holidays? They are DAYS, not months! Don't lose yourself (and your health) because of a series of "days" we celebrate over the span of TWO MONTHS.

I encourage you, "LOCK IN the WEIGH-IN" and hold yourself accountable.

Happy Fall

2010-10-29T12:09:00.002-05:00

Hope everyone is enjoying FALL!

What are YOU doing to prepare for the fast approaching holiday season?

Fail to plan, plan to fail...

Don't let the SNEAK up on you. :)

Detox Deception...

2010-10-21T16:28:00.001-05:00

If you've roamed through the health food/supplement section at your local supercenter or GNC, you've probably noticed the ever increasing line of detox products on the shelves. Every health "guru" has their face plastered on a product and every brand of supplements offers their own "version" which is undoubtedly, FAR BETTER THAN REST....right?

They have claims of being ALL NATURAL, lose up to 10 pounds in one week, lose inches, eliminate belly bloat, shed excess water weight, breaks plateaus and remove toxins from the body. Ultimately, all of these claims are a deception, but typically true!

So why a deception?

I'm not going to completely knock the concept of supplemental detoxes, I think it depends on HOW and WHY they are being taken? Is it undoubtedly to flush your body of unwanted toxins that are roaming around in our bodies? Is it because it acts as a colon cleanse which some doctors actually recommend 1-2x a year? If it IS for the purpose of colon cleanse, are you using a product that will replace the healthy bacteria in your digestive tract or is it getting rid of the good with the "bad"?

So, why am I even talking about a DETOX?

I purchased and started a 14-day detox cleanse 1 1/2 weeks ago. Although the concept of flushing toxins from your body is worth the thought, I was buying the seller's pitch: "LOSE WEIGHT QUICK!!!" I feel like I've wasted an entire MONTH in this funk of putting the pieces of my life back together and what is the first thing to go when everything else is seemingly a mess - HEALTH! I waltzed right into my friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart and spent just under $20 to purchase (photo ID now required) this lovely acai berry ALL NATURAL detox cleanse. Like I said, I don't completely disagree with detoxes or cleanses (although I prefer the clean eating method of detox which can also be called the Daniel Fast). Either way, when you are doing a cleanse to purge your body of impurities, you shouldn't be craming it FULL of toxins at the same time - in either instance you should be eating a semi-clean diet. WHAT DID I DO? I've spent the past 1 1/2 weeks binging on fatty fast foods (morning, noon and night) yet religiously taking my "daily detox pill" before bed. Definitely not a good example and I would NOT recommend you try this at home.

So, what happened?

I call it the "lie detector"

In most instances, when you take "shortcuts" in life you either miss out on so many experiences or you sell yourself short and it ends up costing yourself more in the long run. I managed to just "slip" underneath my prior weigh-in weight for my 8-month weight loss challenge thanks to this lovely "detox" pill, I lost an entire 0.6 pounds!!! That actually meant I shed nearly 8 pounds in a week to fall under my previously recorded number - BUT - sometimes it's what's happening on the inside the matters most! Once we step off the scale they have us hold this "lie-detector test" machine in our hands that measures body-fat. I went UP an entire % in body fat! Yes, I dropped nearly 8 pounds with the assistance of this detox and most certainly lost some water, even felt the inch difference in some clothes, I'm assuming some toxins were removed with my supplement induced bathroom routine (although those toxins were replaced by Taco Bell & McDonalds), but all of those seemingly GREAT results were quickly overshadowed by the truth - weight loss does NOT mean FAT LOSS (for a good blog entry titled "Weight Loss," not important, click here).

This was yet another one of the hard truth lessons I've learned on this road and I have to repeat to myself what I've told numerous people in challenges I've hosted, "The number on the scale is just a point of reference, not a mirrored reflection of your efforts." It's funny, because I've always said that to encourage people when the scale didn't seem to be moving, but it can be used in reverse, the scale may "appear" to be moving but is your body really changing for the better on the inside? THAT is what matters! FAT LOSS not "weight loss."

I'm living, learning and trying to love life along the way...

IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT THE SCALE

Verse of the Day:

**As for the verse, in relation to the blog post, it's about what's happening on the INSIDE. God searches our hearts and regardless of how much it "appears" that we love Him by our actions, He knows the true intents of our hearts.

1 Chronicles 28:9

“As for you, my son Solomon, know the God of your father, and serve Him with a loyal heart and with a willing mind; for the LORD searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts. If you seek Him, He will be found by you; but if you forsake Him, He will cast you off forever.

Think Positively

2010-10-06T13:08:00.000-05:00

"Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you!

-Christian D. Larson

From a card I bought in Georgia...

Verse of the Day:

Colossians 3:2 (NIV)

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."

Emotional Failing

2010-09-28T13:34:00.004-05:00

Which direction do YOU choose?

It's easy to blog about the journey when things are right on track but it's a lot harder to lay it bare when you're struggling. Over the past 1 1/2 years I've written a few entries such as "Self Evaluation," "A Blog on Failing" and "Forgive Yourself" that were about set-backs.

This past week literally felt like HELL to me and it's easy to find yourself attempting to drown out your sorrows with bad habits. When everything seems out of your control, it's also interesting to see how we react over the few things in life that we are still able to control. I jogged my best 3 mile time last week, all of a sudden the usual lack of breath didn't even bother me, something about that jog freed me from the stress surrounding me and helped me gather my thoughts and emotions. I made my bed every day, sounds silly, but every morning I woke up and made my bed before leaving the house which is not a usual occurrence in the life of "Mesha." It wasn't until the end of the week that I realized it was one area in my life I was able to organize and by doing that simple task it made me feel accomplished and a little less like a failure.

Emotional Eating

I felt like I had learned enough on this road to where I was beginning to react to negative circumstances with positive response - which I did for the majority of the week, until the weekend hit and it all went out the window. One 'old friend' that rejoined me this past week was FOOD (and LOTS of it). Sonic, Peach Wave, Wendy's, Burger King, Chick-fil-a, Taco Bueno, Taco Bell, Long John Silver's, chocolate cake, Back Yard Burgers and Mi Ranchito ALL found their way onto my menu this past WEEKEND. Not even the week - the majority of it was on the WEEKEND! From Friday night until yesterday, I ate more fatty fast food than I've probably had in this past YEAR! From Thursday until today I gained 7.2 lbs and have been in such an emotional whirlwind that I don't even know myself.

I feel like I watched the last 9 years of my life vanquish over night with the events of this past week and needless to say - it hurt! The Bible says, "Therefore, there is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus," I've learned that to be true in CHRIST, not so much with people though. Even through the heartbreak, I'm thankful for the events of this past week and know in my heart what I am doing and although others may look at me from the outside in with cold hearts - all that matters is how God looks into the depths of MY heart. For those who may think contrary, unfortunately they didn't know, love or respect me enough in the first place. The reality of my situation is that my scars may be a bit uglier than the ones others bare, but Christ is still the healer of them all.

NEW Chapter of my life...

I am embracing the consequences of my own actions, but that doesn't make it sting any less. I've been digging into the story of King David a lot (the good, the bad and the ugly) and I'm finding HOPE. I've been clinging more to God's word and His truth than I ever have before and crying out in prayer because even in my lonliness and pain, I am comforted by the reminder that He is the only one who never leaves and never forsakes us. Even when nearly everyone else you've grown to love and respect decides to throw you out as "no good," ONE still remains - JESUS.

It wasn't something I wanted, but it happens with any good book...I've turned THIS page in my life and I'm onto a NEW CHAPTER.

VERSE OF THE DAY:

One of my friends said to me today, "If you fall seven times, make sure you get up eight." It reminded me of the verse I chose for today...

Proverbs 24:16 (NLT)

"The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again.
But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked."

I'm choosing not to let what felt like a DISASTER this past week to overthrow me...I'M GETTING UP!

Ali shared a devotional with me today that Mandi sent her and it really encouraged me in the midst of everything. It reminded me of the only one who not only wont, but CAN'T fail me. It reminded me not to be angry, bitter or upset no matter how right or wrong I think things are handled or a picture is portrayed.

“For all the promises of God in Him are Yes, and in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us.” 2 Corinthians 1:20

We all have family and friends who have made promises to us; to help us; to stay with us; to love us; to give us something; or to stand up for us. We believed them because they ‘gave us their word.’ When someone gives you their word, you should be able to trust them. But because we are people, living in these fleshly bodies and living in the world, we sometimes make promises that we can’t keep; sometimes we ‘give our word’ and our promise falls through. But thank God that He is not like us; He is not limited in what He can do.

God gave us His Word, that He would help us; that He would never leave nor forsake us. The Lord gave us His Word that He would protect us and keep us; supply our needs; and comfort us when we hurt. When you begin to doubt that help is coming, you must remind yourself that God gave you His Word and “God is not a man, that He should lie. He is not human, that He should change His mind. Has He ever spoken and failed to act? Has He ever promised and not carried it through?” Number 23:19 NIV

As you face this day and face tomorrow; as trials and tribulations, tests and troubles try to come your way, remind yourself that God gave you His Word that ‘you are more than a conqueror.’ As you are tempted to sin against God, and wonder if you are strong enough to say no, remind yourself that God gave you His Word that ‘you can do all things through Christ which strengthens you.’ The Lord gave you His Word that if you come to Him, He would give you rest; He gave you His Word that if you keep your mind stayed on Him, He would give you perfect peace. He gave you His Word that if you acknowledge Him in all your ways, He would direct your paths. He gave you His Word!!

ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT: Gene Milstead

2010-09-21T16:15:00.001-05:00

*****ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT*****

-101 LBS -

Name: Gene Milstead

Occupation: Weight Loser (lol)

Start Weight was 460 Current Weight is 359 for a Total Loss of 101

What is your game plan/approach to weight loss?

I am looking at this as a lifestyle change. This is something I am going to do for the rest of my life and help as many people as possible do the same. As for me and my house we will be passionate people about health and God. Lol

Favorite healthy food/recipe?

I am pretty plain since it is just me. I do my shake in the morning and a tuna sand with fruit for lunch a couple of healthy snacks and some chicken and vegetables for dinner. I am simple like that. If I have guests I like to make some turkey burgers or a wheat pasta with garlic, oil and spices. I also found some spinach and carrot wheat pasta it is really good.

Name 5 “must have” foods for your home?

Water
Tuna
Grapes
Protein Shake with Fiber
Sweet Potato

Favorite guilty pleasure?

Yogurt Land

What inspires/motivates you?

The thought that I am doing something bigger than myself. I am doing this so I can help others do the same thing. I want to pave a road to healthy success that others can drive on. I want to be able to show people that it can be done. If I can do it anyone can do it. I was 460 pounds and lazy and had no motivation. I had put this off my whole life. Then one day I realized there is so much I can't do because of my size. I made a list of all the stuff I wish I could do. That is a huge motivator. I am marking one thing at a time off that list.

What differences do you notice about your life NOW vs. before you were living a healthier life (ex. physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially)?

Physically- I have so much more energy. I am all over the place. It feels amazing. I love being able to go for a 4 mile walk or being able to go to a sporting event and not be tired when I get to my seat. I like being able to get dressed and not be worn out by the time I am done.

Emotionally- This is the hardest part for me. Through all of this I have been up and down emotionally but I know it is for the greater good. Before I was always down and depressed about my weight and with the loss of my parents. Now when I get down or mad I just go to the gym and take it out on the treadmill or elliptical.

Spiritually- Any time you make the decision to be healthy you are being obedient to God which is a good thing. The healthier I get the more clarity my thinking becomes. When you are overweight it runs your life. It controls where you go and what you do. I am not having to deal with that anymore.

Socially- I get more women flirting with me. Just being honest. Lol It is giving me more self confidence. Not cocky or arrogant. I am still the same person I just don't have a low self-esteem anymore. You have to learn that no matter what size you are you are still a beautiful person. You just need to lose the weight because you need to be healthy. If your main goal is to look good you will not be successful. You need to do it because you want to be healthy. A lot of people lose weight to look good and are still not happy with what they see. It is a mental battle.

Tell me your story? When/Why did you decide to start this healthier lifestyle?

I have been big my entire adult life. I was raised in an unhealthy home and both of my parents passed away very young due to health issues. This is one of the things that really motivates me is I want to live to see my kids that I will have some day grow up. Instead of realizing this when they died I actually got worse though. I gained over 120 pounds after my mom died. I finally made the decision to lose weight one day when I was having my quiet time with God. The night before I had watched The Biggest Loser and I was like I need to change my life. While I was praying I felt like God told me that if I didn't change I would be dead in 10 years. It hit me like someone had just knocked the wind out of me. I laid there and cried for about 15 minutes then got up a different man. I have not looked back. I wrote a letter to my friends and asked them to sponsor me and help me through the next year. I am taking a year away from everything and focusing on weight loss. I then created a website to help other people while on this journey.

WHAT HAS BEEN MOST REWARDING ON YOUR JOURNEY?

The most rewarding thing to me is seeing the lives that I am changing already. I am not special I am just being obedient to what God told me to do. I have a group of people I am encouraging to lose and they are following me on FB and my website and as a group we have lost over 400 pounds. To me that keeps me going. That drives me to be a better man, to get out of bed on the days I don't want to go to the gym. People are important to me. Even if I don't know you I still love you and I am here to help you in your journey. We can learn and shrink together.

DO YOU HAVE ANY PERSONAL GOALS YOU ARE STRIVING TOWARDS?

I want to lose 200 pounds during my 1 year journey. My overall goal is to get down to 200 pounds.

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL SOMEONE ASKING FOR ADVICE?

You need to start slow. Cut a few small things out of your meal plan at a time. It is a lifestyle change not a diet. This is a marathon not a sprint. Start walking around your block once a day until you can do more. If you try going to the gym for an hour a day you will get sore and burned out really quick. Just start slow and work your way up to it. You are not a reality show. This is your life. You don't have a group of Dr.'s and specialist watching every move you make. Also if you have questions feel free to ask me. There is a contact me section on my website. There are a lot of people like Demesha and myself who are here to help you on your journey. Don't be afraid to ask and there isn't a dumb question. This is your life we are talking about. Choose life, Don't Just Exist! My site is http://www.nomorebiggene.com/

WOULD YOU CONSIDER A CAREER IN HEALTH AND WELLNESS?

I am in the process of getting certified as a personal trainer and after the first of the year I am going to open a home to help young men lose weight. I feel like it is a spiritual, mental, and physical battle and you have to get a control of all three.

Interesting Article from a Friend...

2010-09-16T16:44:00.000-05:00

This is an interesting weight loss article that a friend sent to me...

Although I don’t relate 100% to her “fat girl” life before, I related well enough to the emotions and thought processes she lived by in her overweight life and even am starting to see the same differences in the social world in relation to “then vs now.” The contrast many experience based solely on weight is amazing and SAD all at the same time. I know my girls of F.I.T. and I have all shared stories of social differences we are experiencing now and some of the anger and trust issues it causes internally because if I wasn't good enough "then," what has opened your eyes and heart to me "now?" Hmmm…enough from me, GO READ!

__________________________

Emily McCombs' before and after photos look like two different people.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/LIVING/09/02/tf.lost.100.pounds.fat/index.html?hpt=T2

She drops 100 pounds, gains new world

-- I come from a small-ish town in Oklahoma where we've never met a vegetable we couldn't fry and the only things more super-sized than our portions are the huge church complexes that alternate with fast-food restaurants along our roads.

So it maybe isn't such a big surprise that by the time I graduated from high school, I weighed 260 pounds. My prom dress was a size 24, and my mother had to help me zip it up, a five-minute ordeal during which we grunted and cursed at one another.

My aunt had to custom-make my graduation gown, a huge white tent in which I resembled the Stay-Puft marshmallow man.

Still, I left for college in New York City feeling relatively confident. After all, I wasn't just fat. I was also stylish, managing to alter and combine pieces in a way where they overcame their origins as shapeless sacks designed by people with the gall to decorate plus-size garments with ice-cream cones and slices of pizza.

And I was hilarious and sexually brash, defense mechanisms mastered by fat women and gay men everywhere.

I wasn't immune -- hurtful things would happen on occasion. Groups of rowdy teenagers sometimes yelled insults at me from car windows. I gave my phone number to a nice guy, only to find out when he called that he had a fetish for overweight women, shamelessly telling me that he likes "something to grab onto." Or someone would approach me out of nowhere on the street and tell me not to worry about how I look; someday -- when I'm ready -- I'll lose the weight.

And of course, I compared myself endlessly to the impossibly thin women in magazines, just like the average-weight women I knew, to whom I also, by the way, compared myself.

Despite these blows to your self-esteem, for the most part nobody close to you really tells you to your face what they think about your weight. As a result, a fat girl's worldview is missing vital pieces of information. When you don't get invited on your friends' man-catching all-girl outings, or when men who enjoy sleeping with you over and over again fail to want to date you, you can't quite comprehend that all this is really caused by the way you look.

But then, the summer before my junior year of college, something changed. I made a promise to myself to diet just for one summer, and for the first time I saw results. On a low-carb plan, I started melting away, shrinking inwards. I began to grow collarbones and hipbones, sprouting bony, sharp spots all over my body. By the end of the summer, I was 50 pounds lighter, and within a year I was down to 160 pounds on my 5'11" frame, a solid size 10.

It's been six years now that I've maintained that weight loss, and it is far and away the best thing I've ever done for myself. Not because I'm healthier and will probably live longer, but because I now reap the benefits of a society set up to punish fat people for the unforgivable crime of eating too much.

I hear the fat jokes right out loud now, instead of just a whispering breeze brushing past my ear. Men who used to let the door swing shut in my face now hold it open for me politely and look me up and down as I step past.

My own boyfriend, a man I began dating a few months after reaching my goal weight, sees the picture on my driver's license and admits he probably wouldn't have gone out with me when I looked like that. I appreciate his honesty. It's better than the good-intentioned people who gush upon seeing the new me, "You're so pretty now!" before stammeringly adding, "Not that you weren't, uh, pretty before."

Finding yourself suddenly thin after a lifetime of being fat is a bit like stepping into that "Saturday Night Live" sketch where Eddie Murphy goes undercover as a white guy and discovers that white people act completely differently when there are no black people around.

With no outward sign of my former body type, I became a renegade spy for Team F.A.T.

Of course, I didn't discover that thin people drink cocktails and dance when fat people get off the bus. But when I lost weight, I was rewarded with membership in a club I never knew existed, where the benefits included better treatment, greater professional success and, above all, a new status as qualified participant in the social world including romantic relationships.

Of course, I lost weight to reap these benefits. But it doesn't stop me from being angry that I had to lose weight to reap these benefits. Of those who are nice to me now, who would have been rude to me before? Which ones made the cruel jokes? Who can be trusted?

As the years pass, it is easy to forget. I have even, on a few occasions, found myself looking at an overweight person with faint disdain, forgetting those years I struggled with the very same issue. I hope never to gain back the weight I lost. But I have seen another side of people that I cannot forget. And with any luck, I never will.

I hope I always stay fat on the inside.

_____________________________

Verse(s) of the Day:(dealing with NOT being partial to others)

Job 34:19

“Yet He is not partial to princes, nor does He regard the rich more than the poor; for they are all the work of His hands.”
Romans 2:11

“...For there is no partiality with God.”

James 2:1-4
The Royal Rule of Love

"My dear friends, don't let public opinion influence how you live out our glorious, Christ-originated faith. If a man enters your church wearing an expensive suit, and a street person wearing rags comes in right after him, and you say to the man in the suit, "Sit here, sir; this is the best seat in the house!" and either ignore the street person or say, "Better sit here in the back row," haven't you segregated God's children and proved that you are judges who can't be trusted?"

ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT: Kristin Brinkman

2010-09-13T08:39:00.002-05:00

*****ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT*****

~ 97 LBS LOST ~

Name: Kristin Brinkman
Occupation: Insurance

Amount Lost: 97lbs

What is your favorite exercise?

"Zumba as far as good cardio and fun. Spin for when I want to push myself to the limit and sweat like no other."

Favorite healthy food/recipe?

"Cracked Pepper Turkey Tenderloin on the grill…it’s my new obsession. I needed a change from just chicken and turkey breast. It is delish! My brother in law cooks it on Sunday and I eat it all week for lunch with steamed veggies or a salad."

Name 5 “must have” foods for your home?

"Every Sunday I have to have:

Steamer bags (no sauce)
Lean protein
Fruit (pineapple and watermelon are my 2 fav’s)
Light Sarah Lee Bread
Crystal Light packets for a sweet drink or Sprite Zero.

Favorite guilty pleasure?

"Chipotle…which I’ve trained myself to get the salad with grilled chicken, peppers, lettuce, and lots of mild salsa. You still get the taste and it’s better for you."

What inspires/motivates you?

"My son Jacob motivates me to keep going and he makes me want to do my best. Also my friends and family have been so supportive through this process. I feel so empowered now to finish what I’ve started and that’s a lot because when you have so much to lose it’s hard to get any program started as you feel hopeless."

Tell me your story? When/Why did you decide to start this healthier lifestyle?

"I have always been big but I was active. The last several years I kept getting bigger and bigger and stopped moving. Everything became harder I felt hopeless and that weight loss surgery was the only option for me to ever really lose this much weight. After 2 unsuccessful attempts at having the surgery I realized I have to figure something else out. I have spent hours and hours of my life wondering how I was every going to be able to change my life on my own.

Things everyone takes for granted were all of a sudden very hard for me. Taking my son to the circus or Disney on Ice was painful because the seats were so tight. Riding on a plane and being asked by the flight attendant if I needed an extension was not a good moment. Walking out of a casino in Las Vegas and having some stranger say “What do you weigh 3,000 pounds?”

There were a lot of things that contributed to my weight piling on. Eating out all the time mostly fast food was terrible on my body. Eating or drinking for a bad day or a great day. It’s such a cycle that is hard to break. I still have moments I forget that I don’t do certain things anymore.

So last February I had my final “Enough is enough” moment and took my tax return money in and joined Slim4Life. That day changed my life. I was very emotional when I left that day because I knew I was ready to change and I knew with the results I was hearing about that this would be a program I could stick to and that could accommodate the amount of weight I had to lose. I love my ladies at Slim4Life. Next week when I reach 100lbs lost, I can’t wait to share it with them.

I feel like I’ve gotten my life back and even though the smallest adult weight I can remember is 220lbs (and I thought I looked good) I feel ready to continue what I started. There is really now end date or end goal. I want to get where I feel phenomenal and then I want to maintain."

What has been most “rewarding” to you on your journey?

"Everything! More energy, cute clothes, self confidence, this new found strength to improve other areas of my life. It has all been so rewarding."

Do you have any personal goals you are striving towards?

"I want to weigh under 200. Even if it’s 199 I want to get there. Basically I’m going to keep losing as long as it feels right and maintainable. I don’t have an “end” number I just want to feel good. So whether that is at 199 or 150 we’ll see when we get there."

What would you tell someone asking for advice?

"You have to be ready. Just wanted to lose weight to fit a certain outfit is not going to be enough to stick with any plan long term. Also you have to realize this is not going to happen overnight. Even after you’re at your goal, everyday you have to make the decision to eat right and exercise. Everyone is going to have a bad day or a bad week…the difference is what you do to “bounce back” from that."

Anything else? Additional comments?

"If anyone reading this can relate to the part of feeling hopeless and that there is too much weight to lose please feel free to email me. I want to help people that are like I was when I started out. I have no dietician experience and I’m not a trainer. What I do know is the struggles you face and the struggles you will continue to face as you change your life. It’s nice to have someone in the same boat. Your friends and family love you unconditionally but often times it is hard to fully open up about this terrible struggle."

"Off Season"

2010-09-07T21:54:00.003-05:00

I had an email conversation a few days ago that got me thinking about challenges. A friend was talking about how boring the food plan she received from her trainer was and how it was going to be hard to stick with it for the 9 weeks of her weight loss challenge. For those of you who know me or have followed my blog for much time, you've probably taken note that I'm always up for a good challenge and have competed in several weight loss challenges during my journey. I recently just concluded a 9 week challenge for Kansas City Fitness Magazine that I finished in 2nd place and I'm halfway through an 8 month challenge with Sylvester Powell Community Center that ends in January.

I'm thankful for my 8 month challenge because it offers more time to turn a challenge into a real change in our lives. The difference between a long term and short term challenge though is intensity. Short term weight loss challenges are like quick sprints to the finish line. It's a race that equally receives a reward, but it takes a different type of discipline and endurance than a long distance event. Keep in mind that BOTH require hard work and discipline though.

Now, I want you to think about a football player. He doesn't train the same way during off season as he does during pre-season or game season. He still has to take care of his body and exercise all throughout the year to stay in shape, just not as strictly. When it's pre-season and game season, he's beating his body harder than ever before and pushing himself to new limits. Putting in 5 hours at the gym and icing his knees at night may not be on his Top 10 "Likes" list, but he's an athlete in training and he's getting himself ready to perform!

I feel the same is true about short term weight loss challenges such as the Kansas City Weight Loss Challenge. For the 9 weeks that I "competed" against 20 other contestants, I trained harder and became a lot stricter in my daily routines because it was GAME TIME.

The awesome thing about game season is you learn what you are capable of accomplishing. You learn that what you thought was your limit can be far surpassed and personal records are broken when you put your mind to it and believe in yourself. You learn new disciplines and an obedience that is obtained from pushing beyond your comfort zone and laying all you've got out on the floor...at times that includes tears. Game season is when you find that spark buried deep within you and realize, "I can do this, I am stronger than my weakness and am capable of great things!" Game season comes to an end though, then what?

Weight loss challenges end. Football seasons end. Bootcamps end....then it's everyday life. Now's the time you are able to apply the disciplines you learned to your everyday living and there is more than just egg whites and exercise. The weight loss challenges, the sports seasons, the college semesters, the job training, the WHATEVER IT IS that you've spent a period of time disciplining your life with comes to an end and NOW is when we really start putting those lessons learned into action, now is the TRUE test of time.

Game season is followed by what many athletes call "off season."

OFF SEASON IS LIFE...

Off season is when the games are over, the 5 am training sessions aren't mandatory and everyone packs up their lockers to go back to everyday living - it's LIFE as we know it. I think most would agree that day-to-day living during "off season" is quite different than that of game season. It's not nearly as structured, its a lot more flexible, not as strenuous and stressful and not as demanding. You aren't pressured by anyone to perform and there is no longer an audience. IN WEIGHT LOSS, the "off season," is harder to manage and maintain than any game season! You are now your own accountability partner and continuing to live a disciplined healthy & active lifestyle is lying solely on you. There aren't anymore public weigh in's to keep you motivated, determination is the leading factor now. Do you have the determination to continue on, even when you may not be "motivated?" This is where you start to face YOU! You look in the mirror and you now have a choice to make for YOU! Are you going to continue living healthy for YOU? Do you feel like it's all still worth it when its just for Y-O-U??? Are there fears? Anxieties? Doubts? Insecurities? Do you still have that faith IN yourself to believe FOR yourself as you had when you were performing during "the challenge?" It's back to you now and whatever held you back from taking this weight off before doesn't magically disappear just because you pushed through a challenge. Did you shy away from trying because of internal fears of failure? Do you tend to do your best for everyone else? ...but what about for YOU? What if not another person in this world paid attention and/or cared - is your better health worth it for YOU? QUESTIONS? QUESTIONS?

I'm throwing out some of the "questions" of off season. This is where you will start to search your own heart and realize that if you are serious about this journey, at the end of the day you face no one other than you (and God). This is where some of the deeper mind and heart issues start to surface while you are living healthier and getting "better." Weight loss is kinda funny because I think it often starts on the outside but ENDS on the inside. It's like all that extra weight was a big scab and once you start to remove it the infection underneath starts coming out, but its so you can be HEALED!

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

How did you climb to the weight you reached? What held you back from living healthier BEFORE the challenge was introduced? Did you know overeating and food can be (not always, but can be) an addiction? Did you know that compulsive overeaters share a lot of the dependency traits as drug addicts? They say that others can hide their struggles but those who are overweight walk around displaying an outward sign of an inward issue. Again, not everyone has some deep, emotional explanation for their weight, but I believe a good percentage of overweight people do. What's been hiding behind all of your excess weight? Lonliness? Addiction? Stress? Broken family? Guilt? Rejection? Heartbreak? Death? Depression? Abuse? Self-esteem? Social anxieties? Keeping in pace may have been "easy" during a weight loss challenge when you were performing for others, afterall, who likes letting people down. But what really kept you back B E F O R E you took those first steps towards shedding the pounds? I'm asking because I promise you that those "inner issues" will start surfacing themselves on this road to better health and they don't necessarily go away after acknowledging them once. It's been 1 1/2 years now since I started my journey and I'm still learning more and more about myself (inside and out). I'm learning more about myself NOW than I ever have before in life. God is daily unsurfacing, healing and restoring me through weight loss. I'm learning what's held me back, what drives me forward and what throws me off course. I'm understanding that "inner fat girl" a little more through my experiences. I'm seeing the mental, spiritual, emotional and physical sides to my weight and it's not all easy, but it's worth it. I always tell people that eating right and even exercise really aren't that difficult, but overcoming the psychological (mental & emotional) parts of weight loss are a mountain to climb.

HOW DO YOU WEIGH-IN DURING "OFF SEASON?" Are you ready for the test of LIFE (inside and out)?

Verse(s) of the Day:

Galatians 5:13 (NIV)

You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.

2 Corinthians 3:16-18 (NIV)

But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT: Jera Leathers

2010-09-01T17:06:00.001-05:00

The "ONE STEP spotlight" recognition comes from the famous quote, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." You have no clue how many people you can impact in life just by setting an example. So here it goes...

********ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT**********

J E R A L E A T H E R S

- 37.8 pounds lost -

Occupation: Claims Representative

What is your favorite exercise?

Boxing Class – vo2 Max with Franchesca at Golds Gym. My favorite machine is the Arch Trainer.

What are your goals?

I want to lose another 100lbs, my goal weight is 125-130

Favorite healthy food find?

Protein Shakes

Favorite guilty pleasure?

Mexican food – I can’t resist good chips and salsa.

What inspires/motivates you?

My mom and my good friends inspire me the most. But once I started working out the feeling I get from it, seeing the results definitely inspire me. You have to inspire yourself, others can only inspire you so far in weight loss. You have to believe in yourself and keep on pushing.

Tell me your story? When/Why did you decide to start this healthier lifestyle?

I have always been overweight; I don’t know what it is like to be skinny. I just woke up one day and was like I am tired of being fat. The Kansas City Fitness Weight Loss Challenge was just what I needed to get going. I want to shop at the cute clothes store, I want to find a good guy, I want to just be healthy. I love sports and it is hard to play them when you are overweight. I want to be able to do anything, and being healthy is the only way not to be held back. I have held myself back way to long.

What would you tell someone asking for advice?

It might seem impossible, but you can do it. Taking the 1st step is the hardest, and then just staying with it is the next hardest part. I still have a long way on my journey but finding the willpower in yourself you can do it. Find the right gym, or person to help you is the key. Believe in yourself and you can do it.

Spotlight Verse:

Romans 13:7-8 (NIV)

"Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor."

Really, what IS a "Lifestyle" Change???

2010-08-27T17:20:00.031-05:00

Weight Watchers? Slim for Life? Atkins? Body for Life? South Beach? Herbalife? Jenny Craig? Nutrisystem?

There are HUNDREDS of weight loss programs out there and each have testimonials of results. So how do you separate the fact from the fiction, the real vs. counterfeit?

A few days ago I received a facebook message from a curious friend that was the inspiration behind this blog, she asked, "Are you on any special plan? WW, ATKINS, Eat Clean, Count Calories...I need help and I don't know how to push myself at all!!!"

The simple answer to this question is NO. No I am not following any "special plan" and no I'm not on any of the trendy programs solicited on our airways and street corners. With that being said, I believe most effective daily "diets" follow a bit of the truth that is mixed in with the chaos of ANY of these weight loss program and their theories. Atkins preaches protein which protein is very important for our bodies to build, restore and fuel muscle (especially when working out) and burn fat more efficiently - however, eating the wrong meats in excess isn't healthy for your heart and you begin to overload your body with saturated fat. WW & Count Calories plans make you more conscious of "how much" you are taking in your body versus what is going out which in theory is "good." However, there are many followers who don't spend much focus on the nutrition behind what they are taking in, just as long as you stay within your daily "budget." I've met numerous people (and used to be guilty myself), who would save ALL their points or calories to be spent on food such as ice cream. According to these weight loss "diet plans" you are right on track because you didn't exceed your limit, but is that healthy? ...anyone else see bad habits forming?

Do I disagree with those who are on the weight loss programs mentioned above, absolutely not! Do I think that you can save money by learning the tools on your own - ABSOLUTELY!

I guess the real question to ask yourself is, "Are they giving you the resources to continue on for life or are they giving you just enough to where you have to keep coming back and paying them MORE in order to be successful?

I don't have anything "negative" to say about Clean Eating because I agree that our foods have become so "filled" with fillers, pesticides, toxins, chemicals and JUNK that are unhealthy and unnatural to be in our bodies - it's no wonder that diseases steadily increase with each passing year. The comment I have concerning that "movement" is it's typically seen as a faux pas if you don't stick strictly to 100% organic and unprocessed foods. In a picture perfect world - that'd be ideal. In a fallen economy where money is hard to come by and all-natural, organic, unprocessed foods are more costly than the "fresh" produce at your local Wal-Mart, you can't look down on those who simply are unable to afford this type of grocery list.

AS FOR THE "PLAN" I'M ON: I "try" to eat as clean as I can nowadays, but I don't feel like a failure if I have a processed or take out meal. I love me some protein and earn my "activity points" with daily exercise. I'm conscious of my calories but it hasn't become my part time job. I wear a body bugg (go read this funny blog about a similar product) that motivates me to "move more and eat less" but I don't refuse myself anything completely. Calories in vs. calories out really is important even if it's a subconscious thought in the back of your brain and I don't care what anyone tells you, there is truth to the theory but again, if my calories out offsets my calories in but my calories in all have detrimental effects on my body was it really effective weight loss? Eating a balanced diet is important for given your body it's proper nutrients and fuel but I don't have a picture of the food pyramid on my plate (which isn't even a pyramid anymore) - although those plates are kinda cool. :) Skinny chicks really don't eat salads and you aren't going to find me shedding all my pounds by eating mainly salads either (don't get fooled by popular salads out there anyways, with some you might as well have enjoyed a juicy steak and let your muscles munch on the protein because by the time you add the high fructose corn syrup filled dressings and other toppings, you've ruined it anyways). If I feel hungry, chances are I'm going to eat so I typically have 5-6 meals a day to keep my metabolism alert and active and it also helps because I know it's never long til my next meal. To say I'll "never" about a meal is unlikely but that doesn't mean I'm unopen to having my personal opinion changed. By no means do I feel that "my way is THE way," but it has proven effective for me.

I always tell people that I am thankful for the WW program because it was a stepping stone for me. I lost my first 25 pounds on program before growing wings of my own and gaining the confidence that I really can do this! I walked out the door of my last WW meeting with my 25 lb milestone award and have since continued on with OVER 125 MORE pounds lost by being more conscious! Conscious of what goes into my body and the effects it has on me (either good or bad) and conscious of exercise.

But seriously, what does a LIFESTYLE change really "mean"?

I believe this is something everyone needs to take some time and define for themselves. It wasn't until this past weekend that I really started to give this some thought. I've noticed three main categories for weight loss if you will:

"Dieters"
"Surgery undergoers"
"Lifestyle changers"

I won't touch on the "dieters" or "surgery undergoers," but since I am personally opting for the "lifestyle changer" route, I think it's important to think a bit on what lifestyle change means to me? There are some key factors that I believe are ESSENTIAL if you are calling this a LIFESTYLE change.

1. Is it REALLY healthy? Starving yourself is not! Eliminating entire food groups is not! Sticking to strict diet and throwing out exercise is not! Aiming to lose "10 pounds or more" a week is generally not (although it's possible, I've done it, but realistically it shouldn't be a weekly goal). Skipping meals in order to "cheat" is not.

2. Is it manageable and realistic? To say you'll "never" eat out again with your friends or "never" have a sweet treat or "never" go off your daily routine is unlikely when making a LIFE change. I promise you, when you tell yourself you CANNOT have something, all it does it makes you want it 1000x's more! Life happens and not everything is pre-planned in a food journal. What about vacations, special occasions and holidays? Is it realistic to refuse yourself the foods that may only come around once a year for the rest of your life? Is it something you spend more time pitying yourself over or do you allow some room for grace? Do you deprive yourself so much so that when something throws you off track or messes with your busy schedule that you are so ravenous that you have no sense of control? I've found that when I allow myself a little more "leniency" I'm able to make wiser choices when I eat out or go to an event because I don't have my inner "fat girl" trying to "make up for lost time," she's still living happy and healthy and not battling that uneasy feeling of being restrained & restricted.

3. Are you able to really, truly enjoy your LIFE according to this plan? Is it more of a chore than it is natural? Who wants to live a dull, boring, strict life (even if it's only in their daily diet)? I believe that with a real healthy lifestyle change you won't feel like your day-to-day choices are a chore and bore. I know that I actually ENJOY the healthier foods I'm eating and it doesn't feel like a bland, boring fate. Getting creative and experimenting with new ways to make your favorite foods healthier becomes FUN after awhile. Concocting new shakes, recipes and treats is enjoyable and exciting to share. Living this new life I'm creating is something I now WANT to do and not feel obligated to do. I'm not going to lie, in the beginning it may take awhile to kick the old habits but if you are replacing them with something that feels more like an adventure than a assignment you'll want to keep travelling the road your new life has you on. :)

4. DOES IT HEED RESULTS? Is your new lifestyle change causing you to do more than just drop weight? Check with your doctor, run it by a physician. Get your blood work done and other tests to evaluate if your blood pressure, cholesterol, body fat %, lean muscle mass and such are improving. Are you becoming healthier on the INSIDE and out? Do you feel healthier and cleaner inside - stronger and more energetic on the outside? When you are fueling your body properly, your body really does start to "feel" great! It's amazing, what I used to think a "good day" felt like at 342.2 pounds. I was so used to my body being achy, bloated, stiff and easily tired that I thought it was normal. I now know that my BEST day then is like my worst day now. I can move without losing my breathe, I can jump without hurting my knees, I can bend and touch my toes, I can sleep without my body stopping it's breathing. I can fit in restaurant booths, shop at normal clothing stores, ride amusement park rides and use a normal bathroom stall. I CAN LIVE A LIFE THAT I LOVE...

I challenge YOU, think a little about what a "lifestyle change" really means to YOU! Don't base it off of what I'm doing or what you've seen your neighbor do - what is healthy and realistic for Y-O-U (I cannot stress the HEALTHY part enough)? Write a blog defining YOUR lifestyle change if you are a blog writer. I'm interested to hear about the journey YOU are on and what this change means to YOU - email me at Demesha.Wright@gmail.com if you'd like. I just want to see people loving themselves (inside and out) and living a healthy & active life that they LOVE!

YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE, CREATED AND LOVED BY GOD - NOW LET'S LOVE OURSELVES!

Verse of the Day:

Galatians 2:20 (NIV)

"I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT: Tricia Kepka

2010-08-25T18:05:00.020-05:00

*****ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT*****

T R I C I A K E P K A

- 60 pounds lost -

Occupation: Mortgage Department Accountant

What is your favorite exercise?

Elliptical machine with my Ipod playing (I love to make new playlists and change the music around so I don’t get bored), also trying to jog a little more when I am out walking.

How often do you exercise?

I like to do 5 times per week, some weeks are better than others

Favorite healthy food/recipe?

I love fresh fruit or anything made with avocado.

Favorite guilty pleasure?

Chips, creamy dips, appetizer type foods

What inspires/motivates you?

Going shopping and fitting into smaller sizes, looking at old photos to see my progress, compliments from people

Tell me your story? When/Why did you decide to start this healthier lifestyle?

When I was younger I was always active and in good shape. As I finished college and started working desk jobs the weight started to creep on. I became a Mother and incidentally gained more weight from pregnancy . For a while I was content to ignore the problem and just pour myself into being a Mother, Wife, etc. Several times I lost some pounds for a big event such as my 10 year reunion but would just gain it all back later. A couple of years ago I joined Weight Watchers with a coworker with the idea of really learning the tools for lifelong eating. It has taken me over two years to lose the 60 pounds but I know that this time I have really adopted my new lifestyle and that the weight will not creep back on. For me slow and steady wins the race. I am not cramming for one particular event but rather a new more active and happy lifestyle. I still have approximately 15 pounds to lose and know that I will get there.

What would you tell someone asking for advice?

Weight Watchers is a great program which teaches you healthy ways to lose weight and adopt a new lifestyle as opposed to a diet. Make sure to find people to talk with for sharing and encouragement. You need to find out what works for you. There are some foods I don’t want to give up so I just have them in smaller portions or less often. Other people do better with completely avoiding those foods. I do better if I stay more disciplined during the week and allow myself a more relaxed day during the weekends. Make sure your splurges are worth it. If you want a dessert make it a good one so that you are satisfied. Keep trying new forms or exercise and activity until you find something you enjoy.

Anything else? Additional comments?

I would wish everyone good luck on their weight loss journey. While the course may seem long and hard, it will be worth it when you can enjoy the new lifestyle that you create for yourself.

MORE VOTES?

2010-08-23T13:37:00.002-05:00

VOTE FOR ALI TRIER…

IF YOU ARE ON FACEBOOK AND HAVE A MOMENT BETWEEN NOW AND WEDNESDAY, PLEASE GO VOTE FOR MY BEST FRIEND ALI TRIER TO BE IN ROUND 4 OF KANSAS CITY WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE! SHE’LL HAVE AN AMAZING ACCOUNTABILITY AND SUPPORT SYSTEM FROM THE CHALLENGE AND FREE PERSONAL TRAINER FOR THE 9 WEEKS. J

I WAS SO BLESSED BY THE OPPORTUNITY TO PARTICIPATE IN ROUND 3 AND SUCCESSFULLY SHED 32 POUNDS IN 9 WEEKS! BOTH ALI AND I ARE ON A ROAD TOWARDS 200 POUNDS LOST AND I KNOW THAT THIS HELPS THE PROCESS TREMENDOUSLY. SHE'S GOT A STORY THAT PROVES HEALTHY LIVING IS STILL POSSIBLE EVEN WHEN LIFE'S CIRCUMSTANCES DON'T NECESSARILY ENCOURAGE IT. PREGNANT AT 16, MARRIED AT 18, DIVORCED AT 24 AND STARTING A WHOLE NEW LIFE IN A STATE SEPERATED FROM EVERYTHING FAMILIAR. FAMILY, FRIENDS, CHURCH AND COMMUNITY...SHE'S STILL DETERMINED TO MAKE.IT.HAPPEN!!!

DIRECTIONS:

1.       GO TO FACEBOOK.COM
2.       ‘LIKE’ KANSAS CITY FITNESS MAGAZINE’S FANPAGE (Some of you may already have it liked from voting for me)
3.       ‘LIKE’ ALI TRIER’S PHOTO (2^ND ONE IN THE ALBUM)
4.       IF YOU WANT, LEAVE HER A SWEET COMMENT OF ENCOURAGEMENT. J

Verse from ALI's blog header:

"All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness."
-- Hebrews 12:11

GRAND FINALE

2010-08-21T07:10:00.001-05:00

KANSAS CITY WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE: Round 3

GO TO: http://www.kcfitmag.com/ then click on Weight Loss Challenge 3 for FINAL results!!!

9 weeks

12 original contestants

9 "sneak attackers"

***350 LBS LOST***

MY RESULTS:

~2nd PLACE~

START WEIGHT: 222.0

FINAL WEIGHT: 189.4

**32.6 POUNDS LOST in 9 WEEKS**

On Monday, August 16th, the contestants of the 3rd Kansas City Weight Loss Challenge by Kansas City Fitness Magazine all came together as a group after 9 LOOONG, hard, tiring weeks for the end of a great challenge, but also the continuation of what should be a life change. For most, this was the first time to meet our competitors in person. I say "competitors" although there really wasn't the feeling of competition in the air but rather one of happiness, support, SHOCK and comaraderie. I'm thankful to have been a part of a group that wasn't cut throat, but rather encouraged one another the entire way. There were playful jokes made here and there about finding Chris Wilson's home address and mailing anonymous goody packages, but other than that we pretty much opened our workouts to each other and even gave tips & advice on diet.

Previously we had all completed our 5th week before leaving for our "Homestretch Challenge." The Homestretch Challenge added a new dynamic to this competition by removing the accountability of our public interviews, announcement of our results and the knowledge of our weekly standings. For three weeks we were sent off to be disciplined and return with results that speak of our hard work "off camera."

I must admit, for the first 1 1/2 weeks of the Homestretch Challenge it didn't start off in my favor. At one point I actually GAINED a pound before seeing the numbers turn around on my home scale. Thanks to a well-known monthly visitor I had to cater to some water weight, fatigue and pain partnered with two back-to-back weekend vacations that resulted in lots of road stops for quick foods with sodium. I made wise choices AND exercised on vacation, but sodium always wins! Thankfully I was able to turn the ship around and get back on track when my "visitor" left and took a quick 7 lbs with her. :)

The final week of my time away from the scale at the KC Fit Magazine office, I laid everything I had out on the table. Diet, workouts, more sleep - I played my "A" game and pushed harder than I ever have before. It felt like I had a whole WEEK of "Last Chance Workouts." I had family, friends, co-workers and fellow contestants right alongside me, running to the finish line with me!

All of the sweat, hard work and discipline proved to pay off when I stepped on the scale for the final time in front of family, friends and other participants. It's funny because the scale is a very familiar encounter for me nowadays but needless to say I was nervous standing on it in front of other people.

"Demesha, you started this challenge 9 weeks ago weighing in at 222 pounds and left us in week 5 at 200.6 pounds. TODAY you are.....189.6 pounds for a total of 11.4 pounds lost over that past 3 weeks and 32.4 pounds lost total!!!"

WOW! PRAISE GOD! I went into this challenge for the accountability and chance to meet other people locally who are working towards better health and I left this challenge over 30 pounds lighter and with some inspiring new friends! 32.6 pounds landed me 2nd place with friend, Jera Leathers, right on my heels in 3rd place. Chris Wilson ran the board all 9 weeks and took 1st with 42 pounds lost! He's looking great just in time for his big wedding day next Saturday.

I'm extremely proud of EVERYONE who took on this challenge and tackled the fears of PUBLICALLY displaying their weight as well as their progress (whether up or down). This challenge offered a platform to not only be encourage but inspire other people and each one of the participants did just that - INSPIRE. It was amazing to see how family, friends, co-workers and even strangers rallied together to boost votes for our chance to be a part of this experience and even more exciting to know how much they stuck by our sides and encouraged throughout it.

In everything you do you should work your HARDEST and do your best. I am able to say that I am proud of my accomplishments. In February, 2009 I began my weight loss journey at 342.2 lbs and have since lost over 150 lbs with various challenges along the way to help motivate me. With all that being said, at the end of the day CHRIST is still my #1 strength! The days I'm not leaning on Him it's harder because I'm depending on me and I've learned that on my own I fail miserably. Faith IS believing in what we do not see and I have faith that by God's grace I WILL reach my goal. I am at a point of my journey where EVERYTHING is new and EVERYTHING is a celebration. Every pound lost is unfamiliar territory, every size dropped is a new experience. At 25 years old I am the smallest and healthiest I have ever been in my life for my age range.

I am thankful for YOU and other family & friends who have been an amazing support system in promoting a healthy and encouraging environment for me to continue moving in the right direction. THANK YOU for all of your LOVE, SUPPORT and INSPIRATION as I continue striving to successfully lose 200 pounds and KEEP it off!

LeAnn came to support me at the final weigh-in and made a cute shirt with my name on it and a cross. :')

I saw this quote on one of my good friends facebook status the other day and thought it was worth sharing:

"The most courageous people change before they have to.." -Bill Phillips

Don't wait until the doctor tells you that a healthier lifestyle is your only chance at life - BE COURAGEOUS - start today!

Verse of the Day:

"Now faith is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN for what we do not see."

-Hebrews 11:1

"We walk by FAITH, not by sight."

-2 Corinthians 5:7

"LAST CHANCE WORKOUT"

2010-08-18T11:42:00.002-05:00

In most races the runners pace themselves in a way to not only finish but to give one last UMPH! of energy at the end for a SPRINT to the finish line. This past week was my SPRINT to the final weigh-in for the Kansas City Weight Loss Challenge.

I stuck to my plan of lean protein (chicken, turkey, fish), carbs and fiber primarily from veggies (broccoli, green beans, asparagus, carrots), limited fruits only eaten during the day to be burnt off (strawberries, canteloupe, avocado and pineapple), low sodium, LOTS of water and protein shakes as snacks and as breakfast meals (add banana and strawberries) on my busier mornings. My newest protein shake recipe that I LOVE is "Banana Split."

1/2 banana
1/2 c frozen strawberries
1 tbsp fat free/sugar free banana cream jello pudding mix (dry)
1 tbsp benefiber
1 tsp flax oil (Source of Omega-3's and serves as nutty flavor for the nuts on top of your sweet treat)
1 scoop cookies 'n' cream protein powder
8 oz cold water
4-6 ice cubes

YUMMY! Mine comes out to 303 calories jam packed with protein, fiber, Omega-3 fatty acids, potassium and FLAVOR!

Diet is essential in weight loss, however, coupled with a good workout schedule it is a recipe that heeds RESULTS. ALL of last week felt like my "Last Chance Workout." There was personal training with Brandon, bootcamp style training with Kim (wellness coach), retro aerobics, zumba, wii fit, racquetball with Dad, workouts with Ali, ultimate workout challenge class at Sylvester Powell Community Center and the hardest workout I've ever completed led by Franchesca Alcanter - boxing class!

On Saturday, I was excited to share one of my biggest "Last Chance Workout's" with supportive friends. I don't know how many of those attending still call me "friend" after suffering through that 1 hour class though. :) You know a workout is intense when 2 people throw up, one drops out after the WARM-UP and ALL grunt, groan and whine from start to finish. WOW! I've never felt like I was going to lose a weeks worth of meals like I did during that class but I LOVED every minute of it! Call me crazy huh?

I burned OVER 2800 calories each day last week and went well over 3000 calories burned on some days (boxing day being an obvious one of them). All the hard work paid off though...check back on Friday for the FINAL results of The Kansas City Weight Loss Challenge: Round 3.

BIG THANK YOU to Franchesca for planning a "special" workout for us to burn some serious calories in while having fun. Thank you to JERA LEATHERS, fellow contestant representing orange, for sharing your trainer as well as encouraging and motivating me each and every week of this challenge by your hard work and support. HUGE THANKS to my amazing friends Ali, Audrey, LeAnn, Jenn & Melody for attending Franchesca's special boxing class with me for a HIGH calorie torcher (both torching calories and TORTURE for those who attended). I love you all and am so blessed to have each one of you in my life.

Verse of the Day:

-1 Corinthians 9:24
"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Homestretch Challenge

2010-08-10T17:22:00.001-05:00

Kansas City Weight Loss Challenge

3...2...1...it's the final countdown of the "Homestretch Challenge."

With the conclusion of our fifth week, my challengers and I all walked away from the competition scale to battle it out at home for the 3 week homestretch challenge. Eliminating the knowledge of how we "weigh in" next to the competition, it's been an interesting journey not knowing where we stand.

I finished off week 5 with a 2.4 lb loss not quite making my goal of being UNDER 200 lbs. My official weight was 200.6 and dropping me from 2nd to 3rd place out of 21 contestants. Dropping down a position stinks, but I must take my hat off to Jera Leathers who took over. She as well as ALL contestants has been working hard daily to lose weight and is making changes to last a lifetime. From the first time I watched her video, I knew she had the desire in her heart to do this for real, not simply as a challenge. I don't see her as someone who will give up easily, I see her going the long haul and that excites me. I LOVE being encouraged by the journey of others who are mutually on this road to better health and living.

As for how I'm doing with that "at home" portion of this 9 week challenge, well, it's been an interesting ride. I've went on two weekend vacations out of our 3 weeks at home and it's hard to stay on target when you're covering the road...especially when that road leads you to the middle of nowheresville in Western KS. One grocery store, two gas stations and limited fresh produce are typically a hard combination when you're looking for healthy FRESH eats. Couple that with a montly visitor who is usually accompanied by fatigue, irritability and water retention and you are surely on your way to the lead right??? haha....

Those are the variables that really can't be avoided though, those that can I feel I've done a fair job handling. I've continued to workout and even got creative over vacationing. Walks, jogs, taking stairs and an entire stair workout routine at Drury Inn this past weeked in St. Louis. I actually hit some of the highest calorie burns since I've got my bodybugg while on vacation, each being well over 3000 calories burned and nearly 20,000 steps in a day. Definitely nothing to get discouraged over, although I must say SODIUM kicked my hiney over that past weekend...*gulp*. Did I eat horrible? Nope. Did I eat off processed foods off plan? You better believe I did. Sodium doesn't even blush with shame when it shows up, making a GRAND appearance on the scale. Most definitely not a respector of persons. Did you know that you can gain 1-10 lbs just from restricting sodium and then reintroducing highly processed, sodium filled foods back into your diet EVEN when staying within your normal caloric range for weight loss AND working out? Hmmm...I know first hand, I'll testify to that! :)

So all in all, I'd say I'm winning in the obedience/discipline arena of a lifestyle change but getting whooped in the "I'm in a challenge and need to step up my game" area. The final weigh in is Monday, August 16 and the numbers are going to be interesting to say the least. Did I do enough? That I really don't know but I can promise you that I worked hard and most certainly have made myself and hopefully friends & family proud!

...SATURDAY is my "Last Chance Workout" at Gold's Gym. I'll be doing a 1 hr boxing class with friends and maybe family sweating it out with me and we'll see how I weigh in at our FINALE on Monday @ 9am! I'll be meeting most of the contestants for the first time and we'll witness the final results. Videos and the "after" photo shoot will all occur on Monday, I'm beyond excited...partially for it to be over. (haha) Stay posted!

Until then...gotta run to the gym folks!

Verse of the Day:

Mark 11:24

"Therefore I say to you, whatever you ask for when you pray, believe that you have received it, and you will have it."

...starts with ONE step!

2010-08-03T15:51:00.002-05:00

There is so much SUCCESS in the weight loss world and I am daily amazed by awesome stories I hear on facebook, by blog, at work or by word of mouth. I often see people walking or jogging on the sidewalks of town and in my car whisper a "Good job," because it fills me with joy seeing people push themselves to become a happier, healthier person. It's great having these reality TV shows that have inspired millions, but when you see your neighbors, co-workers, friends and family - people in your every day communities being successful, it often has a more realistic impact. "It hits home..." Those are the determined individuals who we get the privilege of watching LIVE off the flat screen TV, the people that help us realized here and now that, "If they can do it, I can too!" They don't have 24 hours a day at their disposal for exercise, personal dieticians and the opportunity to be secluded from the real world. There are McDonald's & Burger King's on their every street corner, potlucks at work, kids to attend to, work to keep up with, meetings, appointments, gatherings, vacations and every other thing that has to be wisely approached to make the right choices. I want to start occassionally recognizing some of those people and their stories right here on my blog. This isn't just about "me." From day one I've wanted to encourage others to step out and run with me on this journey and I believe these individuals would want the same. This recognition is going to be called "ONE STEP spotlight," coming from the famous quote, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." You have no clue how many people you can impact in life just by setting an example. So here it goes...

ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT:

*!*!*BRAD YOUNGER*!*!*

Name: Brad Younger

Occupation: Bank Teller

Amount Lost: -14.5 lbs in TWO MONTHS!!!

What is your favorite exercise? Walking with friends from work, other than that I like the elliptical machine and treadmill
How often do you exercise? 4-5 times a week
How does it make you feel now that you are getting active? I feel a lot better about myself because I am trying to get fit and lose weight.

Tell me your story? I was skinny growing up and worked jobs that kept me active, but never really exercised my whole life. After I got married nine years ago, I changed jobs where I was not as active. My wife and I walked some and even went to the gym a couple of times a week but that didn’t last very long. I have gained about seventy pounds since I got married. It has reached a point that I just want to be in better shape and be able to do more things.

What is one thing you’d like to say, either to someone else as encouragement, summary of what got you moving or general closing statement? I’ve been one that has always wanted to lose weight and get in shape, but for some reason I just couldn’t get off the couch. Mesha, you have been a great inspiration and I thank you for starting the walking club here at work. I’m still on the couch, but not near as much, you have got me moving.

**************************************

I want to take a moment to brag on the first ONE STEP spotlight recipient. Just eight weeks ago I started a walking club and invited co-workers, family & friends to come along to join me for a weekly walk. I initially sent the invitation out to employees who partipated in my past Biggest Loser Competitions at work as well as some personal friends. I wasn't being "bias," however, I didn't include any men in this invitation because I just wasn't sure they'd be interested. I had no clue how our walks would end up; Serious, would anyone show, boring, talkative, FAST PACED, slow and silly, girl talk??? At our very first walk, there were 3 of us girls present and about 2 minutes into the walk a familiar face joined unbeknownst to me...BRAD. He'd overheard about the walk from a colleague and decided to come along with us; It was the first time he'd went out with the intent of "exercise" in years! Within the first 1/4 mile his feet were hurting, he experienced some chest pain and we were a bit nervous about the rest of the distance. Finishing last, he made it the whole stretch and felt the pain of every step taken....but he did it! That ONE STEP has led to nearly 15 lbs lost in 2 months and inspired routine workouts far beyond our weekly group walk. He's biking, walking, doing the elliptical and even a bit of JOGGING. Since that ONE STEP, BRAD went from finishing last to finishing at the head of the pack last week AND he's the only walker who hasn't missed a group walk yet. GREAT JOB BRAD!

Verse of the Day:

- 1 Samuel 16:7

"...The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

1/4 of a CENTURY

2010-07-27T17:07:00.000-05:00

JULY 20

On July 20th I turned a QUARTER OF A CENTURY! Tuesday I was blessed to celebrate my 25th year of life. There has been a lot of successes, mistakes, learning experiences and life-lessons in my 25 years but each has left me with something to build off in order to hopefully become a better "me."

Last Sunday my bff and roommate, Ali Trier, threw a SURPRISE birthday party for me at a local restaurant called Ingredient. It was the perfect setting to socialize with family & friends while making a healthy and reasonable dinner choice that wouldn't throw me off track with calories. There was an awesome turnout with 25 people showing up to wish me a Happy Birthday and support me in my healthy living. Some were hesitant, but it was great seeing the more conscious food choices my family and friends were making such as salads, turkey burgers & salmon.

I am so thankful to have the support system that I have and even more thankful that they aren't just a "support system," they are amazing friends. I had a great group of "work buddies" who came to celebrate and share the special day with me.

In addition to just gathering for a great time, everyone pitched in to purchase me a BODYBUGG for my birthday! SUHWEET! I now have an amazing calorie management system to help propel me on towards my goal weight. YES, I still have to do the work, but it's amazing how wearing a calorie burn counter will motivate you to move more to increase your calorie OUT numbers and work on a daily deficit. I'm addicted to checking where I am and how much I burn doing different activities throughout my day.

Several close friends from church did a great job keeping the secret Sunday morning when seeing me at church, full well knowing about the SURPRISE coming soon. I seriously love these girls (& guys) - I am so blessed to have the church family that I do.

My family (Mom, Dad & Sister) not only helped out with the bodybugg, but went in on a new myTouch slide cellphone and gave me money that will likely go towards the purchase of the bicycle I have not yet purchased. They were in on the whole secret and helped pull it off. I have one of the BEST families ever. Seriously, I'm thankful to have parents who are still madly in love with each other after 21+ years of marriage and who have loved, nurtured and cared for my since the day I was born. I've never been left hungry, without shelter or proper clothing - all of my needs were met and I was taught a great deal about life and how to be an independent, successful person in life. My Gma, Aunts, cousins, SISTER...they all would be there for me if ever I needed anything and I love them more than words express.

The fun before my birthday didn't mean the end of celebrations though! At work, we celebrated ON my actual birthday with a yummy veggie tray to replace the typical cake that is purchased for every birthday. That was accompanied by various gifts to again support my healthy living. A eco friendly water bottle, sweatband for workouts, body oil and body wash. There is no hiding what I'm doing right now - everything surrounding my birthday was right in line with encouraging me to keep moving foward and losing weight and I LOVE IT!

Ali got me a sassy shirt that say "Shut up and Squat," so blunt, funny and appropriate. She also bought me the dress I eyed a few months back and casually mentioned wanting to wear at goal. Thanks to her, I now own that dress and have it hanging in my closet on the wall where I'll always see it and a reminder that I am going to reach my goal, it's not just a dream!

ALL IN ALL - I HAD A WONDERFUL 25th BIRTHDAY

...I'm excited to see what this year brings!

Verse of the Day:

Proverbs 22:2

"The rich and the poor have this one thing in common: the LORD is the maker of them all."

Operation "Sneak Attack"!?!?!

2010-07-17T22:01:00.001-05:00

http://www.kcfitmag.com/main/index.php/demesha-week-4

...well, what's a good challenge without a TWIST?

WEEK FOUR RESULTS: 2nd PLACE

WEIGHT LOSS/GAIN: 203 / -5 lbs

TOTAL: -19.0 lbs

It's week 4 of the Kansas City Weight Loss Challenge and we were thrown for a loop when we discovered 9 EXTRA faces in the standings. "Operation Sneak Attack" was underway and apparently 9 out of the 12 eliminated applicants are back and in the runnings. They were offered the chance to work on their own at home in order to come back in week 4 for the big SURPRISE!!! Surprise it was when we found out the news. Tom Van Pelt is a sneak attacker who has lost an outstanding 19.4 lbs "outside" the circle of our top 12 in this challenge and he is by no means out of the runnings now. He came back and secured 7th place. This all definitely mixes up the challenge, but hey, I say "the more, the merrier." It's going to be interesting next week...being our last weigh in before a three week home stretch without weigh in's or interviews.

NOW is when this challenge is going to start to get reeeaaaaallllly interesting. Chris Wilson is still holding strong with a solid 1st place position and I jumped from 4th to 2nd place this week with a blind 5 lb loss. I say "blind" because this week I took a break from the scale and said, "Stick to the plan, be disciplined and give it all in my workouts and it'll pay off." You don't need to monitor the scale every day if you know in your heart you're doing what needs to be done to see results. The scale can oftentimes be the biggest cause of mental battles which lead to obsessiveness or even self-sabotaging. Over the past year and a half of weight loss I've personally blown it several times; Sometimes because I felt that I was on track and therefore owed myself some "grace" to slack off and I've also blown it because I felt like the scale wasn't moving fast enough so might as well eat bad for the same results! Either extreme is unhealthy and unbalanced. That's why I've learned that sometimes it's good to just walk away and just let your healthy lifestyle happy. That scale isn't a barometer of how we should feel - it doesn't always reflect our efforts. If you are living healthy, be happy.

As far as next week goes, I have a personal goal in mind that far surpasses any competition goal. I want to be under 200 lbs by July 20th - my 25th birthday! To be under 200 pounds is almost unreal to me. Seeing that first digit change from the "3's" to the "2's" was a great day for me but to see the first digit change TWICE and go to a "1" makes me emotional. Being under 200 lbs is something I don't believe I've seen since I first entered junior high school. I can honestly say that I am more active, more fit and healthier than I've probably been in my entire life at this very moment. I feel more confident, secure and full of life than I ever have before and I'm finding ME. Although I've still got a ways to go, I'm not hiding behind 200 pounds of extra fat any longer. I'm not just the one with a "cute face & pretty smile" which is what fat girls often get as a default compliment. I'm a happy, single, CHRISTIAN young lady who is finding herself and learning that I have so much to offer and a lot to love. I am no longer living through the lives of my friends; sitting on the sidelines happy for them as they meet there "until death do us parts" but internally broken out of self pity and shame. I don't have to exclude myself from events in fears of my weight becoming an issue or it drawing unwanted attention. I'm done backing away from ministry opportunities because I'm ashamed of being judged for my weight - an outward sign of an inward struggle. So many try to hide their weaknesses in life but when you're obese, you can wear cute clothes and have a fun personality but there are only so many ways of trying to "mask" this obvious issue. I'm done selling myself short and feeling as though I deserve LESS than God's best for me because I'm not worthy of more...I don't have to settle!

I LOVE ME! I don't say that with boastful arrogant pride. There are still so many things that I'm dealing with in life and God's constantly working on fixing within me - but I don't feel unworthy and unloveable anymore. I can honestly say that I LOVE ME, Demesha Rachelle Wright, both inside and out. I don't have to dread coming home and facing the reality of myself. I can confidently look in the mirror and smile a smile that says I'm happy and PROUD of me. Imperfect, yet changing me. Broken, yet healing me. Living and learning ME.

I used to say this all the time and I think it's time to say it again:

"I'm losing weight but I'm reGAINing LIFE!"

VERSE(s) OF THE DAY:

Galatians 2:20

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

WALKING CLUB: 5 weeks down...onto SIX!

2010-07-14T16:53:00.002-05:00

...we started our walking club 5 short weeks ago and now we are moving on to week SIX.

I haven't posted any updates on the walking clubs success, but it's definitely thriving. With only 4 walkers our first week we are now averaging 6 participants. I have one who hasn't missed a walk yet and many who have taken personal steps above and beyond our weekly walk towards a healthier & active life.

So far we've walked 12 miles as a group with many more to come...

I'll echo what I said week one:

"Sometimes the greatest way to encourage yourself is by encouragaing others."

WEEK ONE

Brad, Ashley, Becky, Baby Mazin & I

WEEK TWO

WELCOMING MICHELLE & ALI!

Becky, Michele, Brad, Ali & I

WEEK THREE

WELCOMING ALICE & TRICIA!

Michele, Brad, Tricia, Becky, Alice & I

(Jannifer showed late but missed the walk...but she came!)

WEEK FOUR

WELCOMING JANN!

Brad, Jann, Ashley, Michele, Baby Mazin, Baby Desmon & I

WEEK FIVE

WELCOMING ALICIA, CATHERINE & SHILOH!

Alicia, Ali, Brad, Tricia, Catherine, Shiloh & Baby Jenna

...TOMORROW we walk week SIX and we're stepping into the AC and out of the sun...time for some MALL WALKING!!!

Verse of the Day:

Micah 6:8

"He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?"

WEEK THREE: KANSAS CITY WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE

2010-07-12T17:33:00.000-05:00

KANSAS CITY WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE by KC Fit Magazine.

Click here to view my week three interview!

WEEK THREE RESULTS: 4th place

WEIGHT LOSS/GAIN: -1.4 lbs

TOTAL: -14.0 lbs

Saying goodbye to week 3 and heading on towards week FOUR!!! So far all contestants survived the "Week Two Blues" Ya know, the week that is commonly dreaded by most after BIG week one losses which typically are countered by a "frozen scale," GAIN or itty bitty drop. I think most handled week 2 with grace and blew those misconceptions out of the water! Week 3 held some new challenges - mainly SUMMER HOLIDAY! 4th of July fell smack dab in the middle of our weigh in week and for most it presented many familar temptations that needed to be overcome. BBQ's, family recipes, summertime desserts, alcohol, appetizers and all the works. Needless to say, it was a C-H-A-L-L-E-N-G-E!

BIG CONGRATS to Sandy Hill who took over 2nd place with 5.4 lbs lost this week. Chris Wilson is still holding strong with a good 2% lead holding down his 1st place. For such a hard week, I'm proud of everyone's positive results. This challenge is not only motivating us as individuals but its a public example of how hard work and diligence pay off with GREAT results!

As for my week - I'm thankful for my 1 lb loss, however, I really wanted to pull more. "A loss is a loss," and by no means are you going to hear me grumble about 14 lbs lost in 3 weeks. Sometimes you HAVE to step back and see the bigger picture in order to keep yourself from being disappointed. For me, the greatest enemy against me was a good ol' friend who we'll call "Aunt Flo" to be socially correct. :) She usually shows up right on time accompanied by water weight gain, swelling, irritability and fatigure. Oh yea, what a wonderful "house guest" to have the week you were hoping to catch up a bit. From Aunt Flo's arrival on Monday until the official weigh in on Wednesday - she helped store nearly 3 extra pounds in this body of mine. Gotta love her. :)

OH well, it is what it is and Jillian Michaels showed up right on time as usual with the Jillian Michaels newsletter I receive - it was titled "Five Tips for Taming PMS." GUESS WHAT? #1 was EXERCISE. Yep, you got it! Last week I hit hardcore two-a-days and refused to weigh myself again until our next weigh in...I hope something gives.

ENJOY!

FROM JILLIAN MICHAELS NEWSLETTER:

The good news is that there are ways to tame PMS naturally. Try these five tips:

Exercise! You may not want to, but get in your workout anyway. The endorphin rush will help relieve cramps and raise your levels of serotonin, a mood-lifting neurotransmitter.

Get some R&R. Adequate sleep and less stress will put you in a better hormonal position to handle the physiological imbalance that PMS brings.

Cut out most alcohol, caffeine, and salt. Alcohol can exacerbate feelings of depression, so steer clear. Reducing caffeine may minimize breast tenderness and irritability, and cutting salt can reduce bloat.

Minimize simple sugars. Ideally, you're doing this all the time, but it's especially important before your period. Simple sugars may increase inflammation, making cramps feel worse. Eating regular meals and snacks with fiber and protein will help keep your blood sugar stable, which is a lot better for those raw nerves than blood-sugar swings.

Consider supplements. Calcium may reduce symptoms of PMS, so shoot for at least 1,200 mg a day. Magnesium is also helpful, as are B complex vitamins. To reduce the inflammation of cramps and breast tenderness, try a primrose-oil supplement; it's a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory that may work in ways similar to ibuprofen.

Verse of the Day:

“Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.”- Matthew 4:4

"I can't do this"

2010-07-08T17:10:00.000-05:00

"I can't do this!"
"That's TOOOO fast!"
"Stop, stop, PLEASE, it hurts!"
"I'm gonna throw up!"
"Ugh, I give up!"

"I'm DYING!!!"

That's a replay of what this morning sounded like during the 1 hour session with my Wellness Coach, Kim Sitler. After two days in a row of cardio blast workouts with Brandon Hersh, my personal trainer, Kim kept in pace with no mercy during our session. Core, arms and intervals was part of our morning workout and I spent a good amount of it finding more complaints and reasons to whine. I was TIRED. I was SORE. I was *cough* "Going to be late to work..." or at least that's the one statement I thought might end the torturous treadmill run prematurely...(ps. it didn't).

"I'M. GOING. TO. DIE!!!"

"I'm going to die!" - The phrase I repeated accompanied by grunts and growls during my intervals. This was right around the time she looked at me and laughed while increasing the speed on my treadmill to a 5.5 followed by the comment, "Wellness tidbit of the week - you tell yourself you're gonna die and you're gonna die! Mind over matter." She then began to encourage me with phrases such as, "Keep going, you're almost there." "Feel those pounds shedding off." "You're doing great Mesh, keep your back straight." She was doing all the talking as I was focusing on breathing; She talked about how my mind will try to give up on me but I can push through it if I don't give up.

After we concluded our workout she said to me, "Do me a favor, next week there's no complaining!" This prompted a great reminder and wellness piece of advice that comes from Phillipians 2:14:

(Amplified Bible)

"Do all things without grumbling and faultfinding and complaining [against God] and questioning and doubting [among yourselves],"

It's so easy to grumble, complain or question the things in life that are difficult instead of allowing them to make us stronger. Have you ever heard the phrase, "What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger?" I'm not "dying" when I'm running on that treadmill, I'm not incapable of doing the work that is asked of me but it's hard and therefore I find myself trying to find an easier way out! That's not what gets results - complaining and grumbling by no means bring about a positive attitude that encourages me to keep moving, it only frustrates me and even makes me angry during my workouts.

Furthermore, I started driving home and began thinking about another verse in Proverbs 18:21 which says our tongues have the power of LIFE & DEATH; I quickly kill & destroy my workouts when I speak doubt and disbelief by crying out "I can't," or "I quit," or "It's too hard." Those statements show that I believe nothing other than FAILURE, inability or lack of faith in myself. From now on I want to start speaking LIFE into these hard pressing and challenging workouts with both Brandon and Kim. I want to say, "I WILL," "I CAN," and "I AM" going to do this! It may take a couple reminders, but I want to stop making excuses or opting for easier ways around what I'm being asked to do. On Tuesday Brandon had asked me to do jumping jacks for 30 seconds and I found myself settling for 10 jumping jacks instead. It was what I felt "sufficient" rather than what would push me to my limit; What I knew I could do rather than what challenged me to work harder. I want to be done with taking the easy road or what feels better - I'm in it to win it - blood, sweat and tears!

THANK YOU BRANDON AND KIM FOR YOUR AWESOME PATIENCE AND HARD WORK WITH ME - YOU'VE BEEN GIVING ME ALL YOU'VE GOT IN TRAINING AND I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY ALL WORKING OUT IN RETURN.

Working on not complaining and I'm going to start speaking LIFE!

Verse of the Day:

Proverbs 18:21 (Amplified Bible)

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]."

ROAD RACE: Mass Street Mile

2010-07-06T17:18:00.000-05:00

On 4th of July I got to kick off my day with my FIRST official road race - MASS STREET MILE! The weather was perfect to be outside for a jog - cool breeze and partly cloudy! There were a lot of nerves flying around that morning which caused some anxiety and tension prior to the race but I'm thankful my best friend Ali trucked out to Lawrence with me early in the morning; Poor thing, she got the short end of my built up 'butterflies' as I anticipated what the race would bring about but needless to say she was there for me!

This was the first year of the Mass Street Mile race and I was so excited to make it my first official running event. The Mass Street Mile was a 1 mile walk/jog race and although that may not be as far as the more popular 5k events, it's still a good distance, one that is often used to access physical fitness levels. The mile is the basic measurement for distance in most cardio exercises and by no means is it taken lightly in my workout world. The mile has become one of my "milestones" - first challenge was completing it, next was steadily increasing my time and now jogging the entire distance is what has been making me proud!

I approached this event with TWO goals in mind:

GOALS:

JOG the entire mile race.
COMPLETE in under 15 minutes

......DONE! I surpassed my expectations on both goals and not only jogged the full course but completed it in 12.46 minutes - 1 minute less than my personal best time!

I also had the opportunity to meet my "blog/facebook friend" Amy over at Lite and Fit after the race! I'm so blessed by her encouragement and also following her journey as she's leaping hurdles and succeeding with over 55 lbs lost to date! Simply A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! She jogged her personal best as well finishing in 11:10. As I crossed the finish line she was right there to congratulate me and we got to snap a quick pic!

All-in-all it was a GREAT 4th of July and as always I look forward to next year!

Verse of the Day:

Psalm 68:3

"Let the righteous be GLAD and REJOICE before GOD; Yes, let them REJOICE exceedingly."

WEEK TWO: Kansas City Weight Loss Challenge

2010-07-03T15:47:00.000-05:00

KANSAS CITY WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE by KC FIT MAGAZINE

Click here to watch week two interview!

WEEK TWO RESULTS: 3rd PLACE

WEIGHT LOST: -3.6 lbs

TOTAL: -12.6 lbs

CONGRATS TO JERA LEATHERS WHO LOST 6.8 LBS IN WEEK TWO AND JUMPED UP 3 SPOTS TO 2nd PLACE!!! This girl seriously almost had me in tears when I watched her week one (<--click here) video. I think everyone is taking this challenge really seriously but I must say, watching her video I truly BELIEVED in her and knew she was ready to make a change. She most certainly proved that with her Week 2 results. Great Job Jera!

We've finished week two and I managed to drop another 3.6 lbs for a total of 5.7% lost in the Kansas City Weight Loss Challenge! Chris Wilson is still in the lead with 18.6 lbs lost for a percentage of 7.7%. I'm kinda biting my fingers each week waiting for the gates to open and everyone to break free from their stalls. This is just the beginning, I know everyone is going to push hard to show all their family and friends who voted for them EXACTLY what they are capable of doing. I know that seeing results and realizing you can truly do this is exhilerating and causes you to push harder - you gain a faith in yourself.

This week I met with my personal trainer, Brandon Hersh, twice for hardcore workouts. My "Last Change Workout" Wednesday morning was 50 minutes of brutal cardio. What I love about Brandon is the fact that he heard me when I said cardio tends to bore me and he's been introducing things to spark my interest. It's hard to be BORED with cardio when you're focused on not DYING.

NOTE TO SELF: Anytime your trainer asks if you are embarrassed to run in front of people, your answer should be YES!

The next day I met with my wellness coach and personal friend, Kim Sitler, who not only gave me a great workout but also reminded me of where to keep my focus with a scripture from Colossians 3:23-24: "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving." I loved it because it helps put things in perspective - Yes! I am in a weight loss challenge, but, am I really doing this just to win? For people's approval? To impress others? NOPE! Not at all, I have always set out for this weight loss to be for the glory of God! To position myself to be used in greater ways be Him - body, mind & spirit. If I can't be active in this body I live in, how am I going to be active to live, move and breathe FULLY for Him?

This next week is going to be interesting, we've got the "4th of the July" obstacle in our way but I'm convinced that this group will handle it with grace and style. I'm excited to see how everyone avoids the temptations thrown their way and their decisions "TO EAT or NOT TO EAT?"

Stay posted to follow the weeks ahead...

Follow @ http://www.kcfitmag.com/ and fan them on facebook: Kansas City Fitness Magazine

Verse of the Day:

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? "I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.”- Jeremiah 17:9-10

4th of July

2010-07-01T10:58:00.001-05:00

It's THAT time of year again...a holiday!

What's with calling it "THAT" you may ask? After all, aren't holiday's supposed to be filled with family, fun and fellowship?

"THAT" time of year is a panic attack waiting to happy for most dieters and healthy lifestyle goers. "THAT" time of year is when all the family and friends gather around for organized social events with an alter of none other than FOOD.

OH YES, "THAT" time of year is when the counters and stove top become invaded but homemade recipes, Momma's mac n' cheese, Dad's BBQ ribs, Grandma's potato salad and Aunt Fran's sinful peach cobbler. "THAT" time of year is when your best friend, Mom, girlfriend or sister wants you to "just try a little bite," of her NEW recipe made with looooove. For those of you who may not know, "LOOOOOOOVE" typically consists of butter, sugar, cream or LOTS of all of the above. :)

Are you scared yet? You SHOULDN'T be! Holidays can be mastered with will-power and careful preparation. I'm the last person who's gonna tell ya, NOPE, don't touch your Gma's apple pie that only comes out for the 4th of July party and is then retired until the next year (well, unless maybe you're a diabetic). I'm sure you've all heard this by now "Everything in moderation." I don't know that I 100% agree with that statement because who defines "moderation?" If you used to eat 5 pieces and now you're down to 2 1/2 YOU may call it moderation...but that's for another post.

REMEMBER: Be safe, have fun and BE MINDFUL of what you're eating. Just because it's there doesn't mean you have to taste it. Survey the options and make wise choices that don't leave you feeling depressed because you "can't" eat like everyone else; have a couple things you enjoy but keep them reasonable. Go for 1-2 spoons of the homemade pasta salad rather than ½ your plate…which is usually followed by a second serving! Make a goal BEFORE the holiday catches you off guard: Eat a serving of vegetables before you go to a gathering (the fiber will fill your tummy and leave less room to feel ravenous when selecting foods), exercise in the morning, no seconds, ½ a piece of small dessert, get 1 piece of meat without the bun or extra condiments, opt for fresh veggies and fruit when available, anything with WHITE sauce is typically a big “NO” and lastly…AVOID pop, juices or alcohol. These are items to avoid all the time for numerous reasons but for weight loss it’s definitely a highly effective way to cut back on the holidays. Use some of those extra calories you saved by eliminating beverages for your favorite FOOD items that you may only experience 1-2x a year. Do not find yourself DRINKING your calories. You’d be amazed at how much drinking water ONLY (and lots of it) will save on your caloric intake AND help curb your hunger.

I hope you don't rush into your holiday unprepared for the "battlefield of food," or "self-loathing" because of your decision to strictly stick to "the plan." Keep in mind that strict dieting can cause many psychological problems such as headaches, fatigue, depression, anxiety, and wanting to be unsocial. (<--click link for article).

MAKE A CHOICE:

1. TO EAT: If you ARE going to consider this your weeks "cheat meal," prepare in advance and do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT go overboard. Remember your goals and what you're striving towards, you'd hate to ruin a week by careless eating on one day. Workout in advance and don't skip meals to "save up" for this treat. Chances are you'll go WAY overboard if you starve yourself prior to this meal. (<---I have been guilty of this poor weight loss "strategy" for a year now, not anymore.) Also, if you've worked out and eaten healthy all day you're less likely to allow yourself to just BLOW your hard work when presented with the opportunity.

2. NOT TO EAT: If you would rather stick to the plan, I say KUDOS. Eat before you go and bring an "emergency" bag of healthy snacks to munch on if temptations are arising. Did you catch that, "eat before you GO," which means don't skip the gathering all together in order to avoid facing the pressure. Great Grammy may only come out once a year for these social family events. When you are there, don't bring yourself and everyone else down because of your decision to avoid the food. There shouldn't ever be any hanging face, poor attitude or judging (ridiculing) others for THEIR food choices when you're choosing to do what you feel is best or right. Be joyful, proud and c-o-n-f-i-d-e-n-t in your decision. Think about WHY you are choosing to withhold and why you believe it to be most beneficial. Don't just say, "I'm not going to eat," know WHY you aren't going to eat? Spending time understanding and knowing the basis of your decision will get you through the holiday more effectively than just trying to dive in blindly.

One thing I've witnessed all too often with people who have gone into a social "food centered" event not firm or confident in their "NOT TO EAT" decision is the following (you may have seen it before too):

1. ABSTINENCE: Starts the night fully abstaining; rejecting even the THOUGHT of the food
2. CRITICISM: Begins to critique everyone else's food choices "Are you REALLY going to eat THAT?" "Do you know how much fat that has in it?"
3. BITTERNESS: Irritated at even having to BE at this event; wishing they were anywhere but in this wicked place of high-calorie laden food.
4. SELF-PITY: "Woe is me." Feeling sorry for themself and sad that they too cannot eat without worry.
5. BREAKING POINT: Yep! All too often this un-mentally prepared person breaks with, "Well, I guess I can have just one teensy weensy bite," then it's all over. They've opened the door to the forbidden fruit and spend the next hour watching the evil calories perpetrate their will power.

What started as denial is now indulgence...all because they weren't firm, steadfast, CONFIDENT and content in their decision to reject the temptations.

That unhealthy approach reminds me a lot of a verse in James that says "a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways." I can't tell you whether "TO EAT" or "NOT TO EAT" is right for YOU, but I will tell you there is a good reason to be confident and secure in your choices - there is a reason the Bible warns us not to doubt. :)

“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail!”

I hope everyone has an amazing 4th of July weekend that is filled with family, fun and fellowship. I hope you are all prepared for the food choices you'll make at your celebrations. I pray you are filled with JOY in your hearts as you rejoice over the FREEDOM we have in this country as Americans and rejoice moreso if you've found that FREEDOM is offered through Christ. Remember our soldier's fighting for our country and pray for our brothers & sister's in chains who are held captive in foreign countries for sharing their faith.
Verse of the Day:

Galatians 5:1 (NIV)

"It is for FREEDOM that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."

Potter's Clay

Decision Making Questionnaire

A letter to myself, from myself...

It's better to "fail"

Warrior Dash KC

OFF TOPIC: Masculinity at the foot of the cross

"Why I Do This..."

HOPE for JOPLIN

Back to the Basics

RACE DAY: "Bib Number"

You were a flower...GREAT GRANDMA!

Pivotal Choices

Robotic Weight Loss

Biggest Weight Loss Challenge OVER! :)

1 mile, 5k, stair climb...WHAT'S NEXT?

2010 Workouts/Events Collage

I can READ!

Congrats Crozier!!!

Size Matters

A beautiful day in the midst of December...

CHECK IN: "Lock in the Weigh in"

Women of Faith Conference 2010

Fight for Air Climb 2010

Fight for Air Climb 2010

Nov 1st: "LOCK IN the WEIGH-IN"

Happy Fall

Detox Deception...

Think Positively

Emotional Failing

ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT: Gene Milstead

Interesting Article from a Friend...

ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT: Kristin Brinkman

"Off Season"

ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT: Jera Leathers

Really, what IS a "Lifestyle" Change???

ONE STEP SPOTLIGHT: Tricia Kepka

MORE VOTES?

**GRAND FINALE**

"LAST CHANCE WORKOUT"

Homestretch Challenge

...starts with ONE step!

1/4 of a CENTURY

Operation "Sneak Attack"!?!?!

WALKING CLUB: 5 weeks down...onto SIX!

WEEK THREE: KANSAS CITY WEIGHT LOSS CHALLENGE

"I can't do this"

ROAD RACE: Mass Street Mile

WEEK TWO: Kansas City Weight Loss Challenge

4th of July

GRAND FINALE